lights will guide you home.

2009-02-15T18:08:00.002+08:00

hello world. its been a long time.

many, many things have changed since my last blog post, and it'll be crazy for me to recount all that i've gone through these past few months, things that were happy and sad. well, to summarise everything, first of all would be that i've gone into a new dimension with regards to my army life. I've assumed my role as a platoon commander since graduating from OCS, which means, higher expectations on me, more work, greater stress levels and a hell lot of demanding men. but of course, being an officer comes with a lot of benefits as well, eg. more money, more freedom. i'm still in the process of adjusting though. and i say its difficult when your scope of work suddenly involves an additional 40 people. no more, me, myself, and I.

secondly, i've continued to pursue my love for choral music! and now i've found this great group of friends whom i've had lots of fun and laughter with for the last few months. Plus, all the late night suppers and talks, not forgetting all the wonderful singing moments. Thank God for these people, because without them i seriously have no idea what i'd be doing with my life at this moment, besides serving the nation fervently. now at least, i have something to look forward to on weekends and it seriously helps to push me forward, week after week. so thanks chorale people, for everything so far (:

sunday's a perfect time for emo blogging. because the next day comes the start of an entirely new week. recently, i've really found it difficult to find joy in my work. the reason probably being the lack of support and friendship that i'm getting from some of my colleagues. and i don't think i deserve any blame for this problem, because its not like i haven't been making any effort to accomodate these people, despite all their disgusting girl talks, irritating methods etc. Sometimes i even ask myself why i'm doing this. I just can't seem to click with their kind of talk, and sometimes, i can't even stand the look on some of their faces. i just wish for them to be more understanding, and not be so overly critical. the weeks ahead would be so much easier, if only i had people whom i feel like i can count on, people who can show more concern, beyond the minimum expected.

for now, i just hate the fact of having to work with some people, because its just so difficult, and irritating, and unenjoyable. there's no camaraderie, no shit whatsoever. feels like, every man for himself. or maybe its just me by myself? who knows. if only i could just escape and run away. i hate this!

if only i could escape and run away from these people. cut all ties. sometimes i just feel like doing that. or better, sometimes i feel like strangling them. but most of the time, i end up feeling like i have to hang on to whatever little friendship thats left. otherwise i might just end up being all alone. how did i even end up in this state! rah.

you might be thinking that i'm referring to quite a number of people, but actually, i'm only referring to 2 people. and to my dismay, these are the 2 people i have to work most with every single day. AH.

i seriously hope they don't read this. but gosh. the feeling of finally letting out something is totally awesome.

2008-06-22T19:24:00.003+08:00

hullo world! i decided that i couldn't leave this blog stagnant and empty anymore. so i decided to post up something. maybe to let my friends know that i'm still alive and well. haha.

anyway! service term's ending in a few days, and i'm gonna be a senior cadet soon. unfortunately, i've been posted to combat engineers, which field of engineers i'm still not sure as yet. WHICH also means brunei next week ): i don't know what to feel about it but i just think its too sudden. its like you're gonna go to a new place already, yet before you even go there you have to go to a foreign land and experience this foreign sickening jungle with people whom you might not even know. i just feel its quite senseless and stupid to go overseas training at this kind of time. rah. then again, i can't wait for a change of environment. tango wing has been getting quite sickening lately, i must say.

on top of everything though, i just wanna be thankful for one particular thing: church. ever since the first day of confi camp which i so fortunately attended, i think church has probably been the thing that's been keeping me happy. I was really happy to be able to play on the first day, to just move in the presence of God, and having that passion to bring people to Jesus, to help people understand how wonderful and awesome he can really be.

i guess the thing i've been praying most about recently is for more youths to know God, probably because i've been inspired by the recent confi camp. To me, nothing beats the feeling of seeing new people developing the love and passion for Christ, and knowing that you yourself had some part to play in it. and i must say i'm really blessed, to have so many other friends in church who are brilliant to work with, who can really understand how you feel about things, and sharing the same common passion and interests. i just really pray that the youth scene in SFX will continue to go in the correct direction.

and i'm so happy that i have LOG. today's canteen was really fun, and i'm thankful people like brandon and rice appeared again (: i'm just really thankful for each and every one of you special people in my life. you guys really mean a lot to me man! thank God for each of our own charisms and strengths, and the wonderful bonding that we have with each other. we always say, LOG is dying LOG is dying! but i never once believed that we would die. instead, now i can see God moving in us again, actually putting us back on track in some way or another, although the guys may be in army and stuff. so lets continue to build on whatever we have now okay!

its really kinda sad when after such a happy weekend i have to go back to camp. but then again, its the same sickening shitty feeling i get every week. WHEN IS THIS EVER GONNA END ): rah.

to my juniors and stoners: GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR MIDYRS!
to the usual gang: when are we gonna ever meet?

i've never felt so reflective in a long time. and i seriously think all my thoughts + this entry was inspired by God.

sigh okay. back to the shitty feeling.

off i go (:

2008-05-11T17:03:00.003+08:00

This must have been one of the busiest and quickest weekend bookouts i've ever had. And for the first time i have to go all the way to jurong by myself! which means i have to leave at 6 because we're booking in at 8. rah i haven't even got time to take my weekend nap. ohwell.

2 courses offered to me so far! Aerospace Engineering for NTU and SMU accountancy. plus NUS hasn't replied me. (although i expect them to do so very soon) So, now i really find myself in a tough dilemma because i seriously have no idea which one to choose. and i only have till like what june 2nd? thats damn little time! okay Aerospace is supposed to be some prestigious engineering course. but then its at NTU, which is located at the corner of jurong. even further than my camp. so its like rah! if i go there i can forget about coming home. and i'll probably miss church, or chorale, soccer matches, so many things. NUS! please send something to me. quickquick. so i can make my decision.

anyway, i'll be embarking on my lovely 12 day field camp from tmr! so i guess i'll be missing lotsa stuff. things like champions league final, SOV, birthdays of a few people, vesak day, stayover. really not looking forward to it, because i predict that we'll be going through lotsa shit, and feeling like shit as well. and its like we have a shitload of stuff to carry and everything and when we come back, a shit load of washing to do. hahaha. bottom line: this is shit. aye, hope i survive and come back with my face in one piece. lol. gonna have to wear my dirty helmet for like forever, the very thing which is causing all the pimples on my face. Rah. irritating.

TO MY (beloved)CHOIR JUNIORS:
all the best for SOV! i've been going back week after week and i TRUELY say i never get tired of listening to you guys. so have lotsa confidence when you go up stage on monday because you guys are VJ CHOIR! which is also, best choir in the world. (4th, to be exact, but whatever.) i really wish i could be there because its so gonna be a great evening (: and cc please don't watertap when you're doing the closing!

AND TO SOO + JOAN! HAPPY BIRTHDAY in advance!
because by the time i'm back, your birthdays would have been long over. god bless both of you (:

AND SO! i depart again! i'll be back! (i hope.) haha. hope these people i mentioned do actually still read my blog! other than that. BYEEE people.

2008-05-04T18:07:00.002+08:00

There are really so many things in my life which i really felt like i wanted to do, but still ended up not doing. why? probably its because sometimes i can't get my lazy bum to move. or the enthusiasm dies off really quickly. many things would have been quite different, if i had bothered to make the difference for myself. Ah.

I don't know why, but i feel like i'm more lonely these days. even though i'm like the only child or whatever, i haven't felt this way in a really long time? i feel like i'm not as close to certain people anymore, and sometimes i find it hard to continue conversations, because i'm missing out on so many of their lives. i'm trying to accept it as part and parcel of being detached from the civilian world, due to my duty to this country (sense of patriotism starting to sink in), but aye. its difficult at times. is this some transition phase or what? i'm still trying to figure. and somehow i feel like i'm lacking something in my life, though i have always said that its not the time. the lack of a special someone.
anyway, here's something.

quote Marcus's dad, "I'm already 50, and the average life span of a human is about 70 to 80 years old. So i only have this amount of time left to live, so please treasure this time that i have left!" his way of improving communication in the family. Sounds funny, but at the same time it strikes me. my parents are already 50 plus? and i guess your parents are around this age as well. another personal reminder: treasure your parents.

the next few weeks in ocs are gonna be much tougher. God please give me the strength to go ahead, amidst the struggles i will face.

man utd for the premiership and the champions league!

2008-04-27T18:45:00.003+08:00

AH leonardo dreams of his flying machine. can't get enough of it man. totally marvelous song.

damn i'm quite sad i can't go for SOV because the repertoire this year seems really good. And i personally think the choir is in quite good shape for SOV as well. why we never have a repertoire as good as yours last year ): hahaha. man i wanna singg.

i swear i'm gonna watch a movie on my next bookout. I HAVEN'T WATCHED ONE SINCE december last year omg. i feel like some stone. hahaha. okay that didn't sound quite correct. AND i want to watch we will rock you also! rah.

the problem: Nobody to jio. hahaha.

anyway. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAYLOOEETING! this comes many days in advance since i'll be in camp and i can't blog. congratulations, you are one year older. but still the xiaomeimei we all know. haha kidding la!

damn i wish i could move my bed at home to camp. i love my bed.

2008-04-20T19:09:00.002+08:00

okay haven't blogged for a long time. mainly because i have nothing to talk about except for army, which is like totally useless and pointless to talk about. PLUS dangerous. because i might just reveal some restricted thing and i get charged. haha. so don't playplay.

anyway time really flies. 4 weeks in ocs is over! bout 35 weeks left? hahaha. doesn't sound so quick suddenly. life is tough, but i guess all of us will survive together i suppose. i guess looking forward to weekends every week helps me along. damn weekends are really precious. and i was just telling shuwei this weekend seemed particularly short, i think because it was quite a happy weekend for me.

hmm lets see. early bookout for me, so i could got for my smu acc interview, which i did considerably okay in. visiting the choir and seeing everyone, which made me really happy. hongsheng's party where the food was good and where i got to see more people as well, people like my classmates. church this morning when for the first time we had quite a number of loggers around. nice lunch at thai express and hatos, and then rounded off with a nice nap at home. hahaha. well thats my happy weekend.

listening to the choir yesterday really made me feel like singing again. and i'm really determined to join chorale, but just that i think i might have commitment problems. really wanna sing again, and even go korea next year ): worst of all i can't even go for sov, because i'll be in the midst of my 12 day field camp, most probably talking to the soil. while most of the other people are sitting in the comfy chairs of esplanade listening to VJ choir, which is Also, best choir in the universe. Haha. ah vjchoir is love.

anyway new core voted! i really hope the new structure in log would suit us well, because i really treasure this community and i reallyreally hope we can stay together and move on. its really quite sad to see people not come and things remaining stagnant, and all of us struggling to think of new ideas, struggling to survive. hope God would lead us in the coming crucial months. i'm sure if we all continue to remember our purpose each week we come, coupled with constant prayer, things would get better. yup.

okay siandiao i'm gonna have to leave for camp in about an hour. another full week of shit and tests and whatever. looking forward to next weekend already. HAHA.

and i swear. man utd is gonna win the epl and the champions league. Goodbye Chelsea Barcelona Liverpool. heeheehahaha.

alright, till next time my friends. (:

2008-03-21T02:12:00.014+08:00

okay some selected pictures from pop. seriously TOO MANY. so here are some!
my company marching in!

this is bronco company.

during the march past. can see me not! lol.

ready....and....

THROW! POP LO! hahahaha.

parents and me.

pig & horse.

me algaemon and hooney!

SECTION 2 WOOHOO.

the whole of platoon 4!

how can we forget this picture? poster boy of NSmen. "Joy of a Recruit" HAHA KIDDING!

2008-03-21T01:47:00.002+08:00

AH BLOCK LEAVE IS ENDING. oh the horror i'm gonna have to leave this civilian world again ): its damn beautiful and slack here damn it i want to stay here forever. hahaha. 3 more days!!

And it also means 3 more days left to apply for whatever uni course i want to apply for. applying for uni is seriously irritating but too bad we have no choice. haha. i'm seriously some lazy shit now rah. thinking about all the stuff i have to type out, all the courses i have to think about. kinda makes me sick. but anyway i'm getting nervous! cos time is seriously running out. i swear i'm gonna do up everything after core and service later.

okay and i officially spent like around 600 bucks since block leave started? but thats like including the 400 plus i spent on my psp. YUP i have a psp now which i don't really play a lot. but i guess its gonna keep me occupied when i'm in camp, or when i'm on the bus or whatever. haha.

anyway on a serious note. its good friday today! i think its been one of the more meaningful holy weeks i've gone through with the youth lenten program going on. i can still remember the last 2 holy weeks were quite occupied with choir, so really much less time to focus on my spirituality. but now that i am totally free, GUESS its time to concentrate. we had some event going on in the parish hall just now, and i really liked the sharings in my little group. Hmm one thing that really struck me was the part bout insecurities. bout how all of us feel insecure about many things and how we often need to prove ourselves in front of others to win their praise, just to feel more secure. AH seems relevant to me somehow.

OH and we did the washing of feet thing, and i think our feet kinda froze in the aircon. HAHA. but it was meaningful and reflective. kinda enjoyed it yup. i think its kinda good i'm getting this opportunity to step back on my faith track again, because ever since i entered the army i've been getting knocked off, time and time again. its really a constant struggle i must say, and its causing me to take God for granted at times. sigh. when is this ever gonna stop.

okay thats all for now. hopefully i blog again soon! because i bet after i go in i won't get the opportunity to blog again till after a really long time. rahhhhh. emoemo.

2008-03-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

this is what a call, a fresh look for a fresh beginning!

anyway i don't know why but i suddenly felt this great urge to start blogging again. well its probably because BMT (basic military training) is finally over and i'm suddenly feeling so free, coupled with the fact that i feel like i'm so bloody detached from everything else that is going on outside. so maybe blogging could be a way to keep me in touch with others! as well as myself. haha sounds a little weird i know.

and its really true when i say i feel damn degenerated nowadays because more often than not i find myself stoning omg. i didn't use to stone so much you know. my mind used to be so aliveeee and well. gosh you don't know how terrible i feel. even my socialising skills have gone down a level. and suddenly i have to keep in check certain improper language that will suddenly spurt out from my mouth. i swear this is no good. NO GOOD at all. hahaha. i need help! i need to feel alive again! i need to think!

anyway A level results are out! and i got 3As and a B for Econs. plus a D for GP, which i was initially damn sad and shocked about. but okay i managed to like let go recently, cos i realised that there was no point being depressed anyway. i guess i shouldn't complain because there are many others who didn't do as well. and its really hard when your friends do badly, because you seriously can't say anything to really console them. so i try not to say much, except, don't worry there will eventually be a way out! you can count on me for prayers. yup.

hoho and as i said earlier. BMT IS FINALLY OVER yay. 1 period of torture gone. another one coming. the 9 weeks we went through really had many ups and downs, but i guess overall, a really meaningful experience. pictures up soon! shall wait for soo to send. haha.

okay end of entry for today. YAY i blogged finally. rejoice! and tag my board please (: its totally bare!

2008-01-08T23:42:00.000+08:00

what a useless last post. hahaha. and that was my 250th btw.

and i swear this is damn funny.

GOOD LUCK TO ALL COMRADES TIME TO DEFEND THE NATION YAY.

2008-01-07T16:14:00.000+08:00

sigh. affairs of the heart.

2007-12-31T04:36:00.000+08:00

hello i'm back.

i really don't know what to say now because within me its like a mixture of great happiness and sadness at the same time.

happy because of God's goodness and by his grace we managed to have such a successful and meaningful mission trip. it was really a touching experience, something that i will hold on to for the rest of my life. and it was fantastic log bonding period of time! we had 4 days of mission work. 2 days at an orphanage and the next 2 days at another orphanage, with aids children. last day was spent touring, and amazing to say, it was the worst day of the trip. haha. i think all of us wanted to go back to the homes. it was really emotional, having to leave them after building relationships and friendships with them and all. and i guess that was really the sad part. many of us teared or cried, watching them wave at us and shouting "i love you!" with one voice as we drove away on the bus.

guess i won't go into the details but there were really a lot of different incidents which touched me. incidents which happened to me, and other people as well. i guess sharing at night really helped each of us (:

well don't think that these kids are worse than us. indeed they have much greater crosses to carry in life, but they are so child-like, so innocent. and some of them are so mature as well, 13 year olds who know they are going to die at 30, but still continue living life to the fullest. i guess it was only after this experience that i finally realise how precious life is, and how painful it is to be rejected by society. who are we to judge? we are all equal in God's eyes.

and on top of that. i'm really sad because i missed choir farewell, the tealight session, everything. i think i might have been one of those who would have cried if i had been there. hah. i would have had so many things to say, so many things to recount, so many things to share. but now all i feel is the silence of my bedroom, and the feeling of having missed what could have been one of the most memorable nights ever.

its actually quite meaningless to say those things now, because the time is already over. anyway i guess many other seniors would have said the same thing,

to be strong.
to be passionate.
to have a love for the song.
to have heart and emotion in every single melody.
to have a love for singing.
to have respect and love, for the choir as well as each other.

no one is unworthy of this choir. everyone deserves a place, as long as you keep the fire burning within. don't let it die! let the passion for singing and the friends within drive you on (: conflicts will occur, people will get hurt, the politics will drive you crazy. but, tolerate and be patient with each other and all things can be solved eventually. you are all in the choir for one common purpose, to die. and when i say die i mean to die having slogged your guts out, encountering difficult obstacles one after another, obstacles that will really kill you and make you feel like quitting.

well no one said it was going to be easy right? but it is only with dying, that you can fully enjoy everything that you will achieve. no doubt, you guys have already done vjchoir proud, but i'm sure in the future, it will be the same (:

i pray all of you will endure the trials and that great reward will come upon everyone at the end of it all (:

sounds like all of you guys have fallen into this death trap. work hard to be reborn! haha.

i was really sad before i left for mission, and quite sad on the 28th as well. but probably i shouldn't, because the emotions and feelings and experiences that i've felt within this choir had been keeping me alive for the past 2 years. every person i've come to meet has been special in their own way, and have made a difference in my life. so i thank all of you, my fellow year 2s and beloved juniors and nelson. and all these will become memories that i will cling on to for the rest of my life. so i thank God for making me part of this family (:

well, i probably made a worthy sacrifice too. mission wasn't so bad after all. in actual fact, it was really a fantastic experience. i've learnt alot the past 5 days.

alright its 5.20am. guess its time to sleep. haha. photos up soon! and thank you brother jude for everything you've done and you most powerful reflection ever. i copied it (:

2007-12-18T02:35:00.000+08:00

YAY i finally went for confession after 1 and a half years. feels quite great to let go of everything. haha. thank goodness catholics have confession.

anyway i was keyboard saikang warrior during church camp. i think i played keyboard for almost everything everyday. didn't really have the chance to worship god by standing and raising my hands but i guess it was alright. keyboard is probably as good a way (:

i guess the camp really made a difference to me. at least it pulled me away from all the distractions that was keeping me away from god, to really ponder through my purpose in life. god really works many marvels but its really so easy for us to lose faith, to lose trust. and i'm thankful i've gained back some of that after the camp. yay (:

oh and i think cornerstoners are fun people as well, after this camp. finally got to know some of them better. haha. hopefully the youth ministry in sfx will scale to greater heights! wheehoo.

I can almost see,
Your Holiness,
As i look around this place.

With my arms stretched out,
To receive your love,
I can see you face to face.

Spirit of God, lift me up,
Spirit of God, lift me up,
Fill me again with your love,
Sweet spirit of God.

totally stuck in my head right now. haha. this is what playing it a gazillion times can do to you.

2007-12-11T23:50:00.000+08:00

sigh this cannot be happening. cannotcannot.

cannot let it happen.

shit man dangerous stuff.

2007-12-09T00:58:00.001+08:00

i was just clearing my room today and i started reading some of the cards and notes people wrote to me last year. and boy i realised i was such an emoboy. almost everyone told me to stop emoing. haha. funny.

anyway that feels so distant already. i'm not the person i was before back then.

and somehow i'm glad things ended up this way.

AND STOP TALKING BEHIND MY BACK rah. lol. its not like it affects me. haiyo.

soooo over it already.

2007-12-02T23:14:00.000+08:00

okay. first blogpost in 16354694651981 years.

its my last day in perth! (yay.) and i seriously can't wait to get back to singapore.

here's a list of what i miss. i miss:
my friends.
my com.
my bed.

okay thats about it? hahaha. whatever i just want to go back.

and perth ain't that boring actually. just that there are 1654984564981215984 houseflies here. THAT ATTACK YOUR FRIGGIN FACE AND EARHOLES AND NOSEHOLES AND MOUTH AND EYES. rah. irritating. i want to escape. lol.

i'm splurging alot on shopping. and when i say alot i mean alot. hahaha. NONE FOR ANYONE ELSE ALL FOR ME.

nah kidding.

and i just won 10 australian bucks in the casino. yay?

hehe see you guys soon (:

2007-10-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

say hello to my old photos.

this was in beautiful japan. haha.

at universal studios. with some reindeer thingy! haha.

me. dad. maternal grandma. mother. I LOOK ROUND.
paternal grandma! omg miss her damn alot. she looks damn cute in this one. haha must put.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST.

mr kiasu :D

i'm seriously too free for my own good. haha.

A LEVELS COME QUICK GO QUICK I WANNA GO PERTH YAY.

2007-10-23T23:03:00.000+08:00

HEY MR A LEVELS.

listen up.

I'M BRINGING YOU DOWN.

2007-10-15T01:02:00.000+08:00

okay so when you realise you have nothing much left to do online what do you do? BLOG. yay.

anyway this morning i slept at like what 5am? then i woke up at 9 to go to church. suprisingly now i'm not dead yet, although its like 1am already. haha. caught the adrenaline pumping rugby world cup semifinal between england and france. damn world cup rugby is awesome. lol. but ah was telling shuwei just now. if only i was studying till 5. and now watching tv -.-

reality check! 2 weeks left to A's. and i'm nowhere near ready i would say. huge sigh. today the stress suddenly WHAMMED onto me and really felt quite terrible for some part of the day. but didn't really show it oh well.

trust in god. the reminder for the day.

i think i miss being on the altar in church. its like everytime i go to the front to receive holy communion, i get this awesome feeling. it certainly beats seating at the back side of the church. and no i don't really miss serving, i miss being on the altar. haha.

ah well. i just hope i do well for my A's. all the way from now. tata people!

2007-10-10T22:13:00.001+08:00

i'm distracted by this really nice letter.

who are you?

my favourite person to ever roam this world.

2007-10-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

just got pissed off by my mum real bad. ARGH. not as if its my fault. i really feel bad for you then you still say me. wtf. RAH.

anyway this afternoon i watched some show i've never watched before in my life, called three wishes. its like some organisation, who goes to like the poorer parts of the US to grant wishes to the people in that particular town or sth. so in the show there were 3 main wishes granted. the first was this girl who used to suffer from a brain tumour, then her wish was to help the other kids who were like her in the hospital. the second one was a little league baseball coach who was coaching this damn lousy team and they were about to play their last game, and his wish was to let the kids have an experience they would never forget. the last one was this single mother who wished that she could support her only daughter better and that she could go back to church, because she thought even her father rejects her for her status.

so this organisation thingy just went about granting their wishes and there were so manymanymanymanymany touching parts that i teared more than once in the show. and NO i don't tear easily. haha. ohmy i think i was even sobbing at one part. i wish i could watch another episode of it, pleaseplease let me catch it by chance.

my dad was like reading the papers while i was watching. then i think when he saw me tearing he got quite shocked but he kept quiet. lol.

oh well. emotional for once. HAHA. right. okay i'm off. wonder if i can consider today productive in terms of studying. another busy day ahead tmr! and i'm already feeling less angry with my mum. praise god yay.

2007-10-08T00:12:00.000+08:00

A little girl walked to and from school daily. The weather one morning was questionable and clouds were forming, yet she made her daily trek to the elementary school.

As the afternoon progressed, the winds whipped up, along with thunder and lightning. The mother of the little girl felt concerned that her daughter would be frightened as she walked home from school and she feared that the electrical storm might harm her child. Following the roar of thunder, lightning, like a flaming sword, would cut through the sky.

Full of concern, the mother quickly got into her car and drove along the route to her child's school. As she did so, she saw her little girl walking along, but at each flash of lightning, the child would stop, look up and smile. Another and another were to follow quickly and with each the little girl would look at the streak of light and smile.

When the mother's car drew up beside the child she lowered the window and called to her, "What are you doing? Why do you keep stopping?"

The child answered, "I am trying to look pretty. God keeps taking my picture."

sweet. right? :D

2007-10-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

mock gp today was like ugh. i think my gp is seriously deproving because i totally don't read newspapers except for sports, i don't research on topics i don't give a fk about gp. haha. maybe that should change from now on.

no time no time no time. how now brown cow.

i wanna get 4 As. thats my target.

PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE you can do it oliver lee.

2007-09-28T22:34:00.001+08:00

i'm so glad i didn't screw chem up really badly. was like totally phew when i got back the papers today. got 1/20 for my transition metals essays and 21/40 for my mcq (which i didn't study for) haha guess i'm lucky cos my paper 2 and organic essays totally saved my ass. results are like shit la, but what can i expect when i haven't been consistent at all these 2 years? its hard to play catch up man.

omg i must so totally blog about this.

my dad cooked western today and i was the last to eat. so there was this pot of nice looking soup on the table and i was wondering why still left so much. so after eating everything else i took up the pot of soup and went to the living room to drink it. then for some reason my mother was giggling giggling and i totally didn't REALISE it was the soup she was giggling about. so i tasted it and woohoo! i tasted bananas.

and it was supposed to be. CREAM OF MUSHROOM.

then i was like wth why like that. so actually my dad was trying to create some cool recipe of his own by adding bananas to mushroom soup -.- luckily he doesn't cook for outside people. HAHA. rock nuggets and banana mushroom soup. dad you rawk :D

oh well couldn't resist blogging about this. lol. alright i'm off bye world.

2007-09-25T22:21:00.000+08:00

its back to school tmr. i can't believe it. why is it when we're having fun everything seems to just fly by like nothing ): sigh.

i'm having this terrible feeling within me right now, because tmr we're gonna be collecting results. and i know i'm super screwed for almost everything and i'm just gonna be super demoralised and down during the next few days (so you guys can take this opportunity to show some love to me heh) maybe i'll get over it after awhile, maybe i'll take longer this time i don't know. but oh well, i know its still A levels that counts. rah.

i've been playing like there's no tmr for the past few days until even my bodyclock has already become screwed up. didn't even sleep a wink during stayover at dawn's yesterday, so i wonder if i can even survive in school tmr. haha. seriously i think the playing has made me feel quite guilty, when people like me should be cutting short play time and studying more. i don't know. or maybe i deserve a break? haha. whatever.

this is such a whatever post AHH i'm totally blogging because i'm feeling like shit and lost and there's nobody to talk to or anything. this sux. this sux. this sux sux sux.

what can i study tmr. where do i start from. what do i do? someone tell me.

i need strength.
i need peace.

oh God. please watch over me.

2007-09-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

thanks alot jiejun (: and good job to the singing penguinxz! hahaha. kidding (:

blogblogblog. i must say that these 2 weeks i've done a hell lot of studying. i think alotalot more than like what, how much i studied in the (early) few months of this year.(maybe abit of exaggeration. just trying to make a point haha.) but then, its still not enough because i can't even finish what i'm supposed to cover. and everything is insecure, and my first paper is physics and i haven't touched physics in a week. RAH. i just hope the next 2 weeks don't turn out to be horrid.

i reallyreallyreally can't study at home i realise. i tried to stay home on monday and tuesday for once, to give myself a chance to try it out. but totally YUCK MAN i failed super terribly. its like wednesday morning to afternoon the amount i study outside can be more than the 2 days combined already. okay maybe not, but comparable! haha.

home sucks. because of 3 things.

1. FOOD
2. TV
3. COMPUTER

maybe i would have been much better off in my keyboard had been taken away (its still around if you STILL DIDN'T KNOW) haha. but oh well, i would have died of loneliness. i can't depend on messaging, because my bill is explodingggggg.

oh well anyway i didn't get a chance to catch any of the nice movies that are out right now and that makes me kinda sad. i hope ratatouille's still out after prelims. sounds super imba the show. it made XIUQUAN CRY. HAHAHA. omg totally shocking.

to all you guys out there who are struggling. take faith in yourself. yr 1s, last lap. then you can slack for the next few months. yr 2s. WE CAN DO IT!

and if you believe in God. don't forget to pray (:

MISSION TRIP OR FAREWELL. stress.

i'm out (:

2007-08-28T00:58:00.000+08:00

i think i'm starting to fall sick, totally feeling un-right now. haha. well totally wrong time as well, since my most dreaded prelims are starting in 2 weeks time. and gp today wasn't that much of a nice beginning as well.

anyways, this will probably be my last post for a very long time to come, since by tmr (if everything goes according to plan) my keyboard should have been confiscated and i've sunken into my own lonely world of solitude with nothing but notes and books and whatever during evenings. haha. i seriously wonder how i'm going to survive.

i'm feeling emo suddenly, been a long time since i've felt this. kinda lost touch with it already i could say. haha. well for no particular reasons, probably just reliving old thoughts or whatever. and its truly amazing how things can change with a snap.

all the way people! lets work towards acadamic divinity/nirvana. haha. till next time then.

2007-08-26T21:25:00.000+08:00

yes by tuesday my keyboard will be gone and i think i'm gonna be gone from the online world for at least a month.

and i say. YAY. time to study.

well didn't do much for gp today. tried to read some articles but couldn't complete much. god bless me. haha.

grandma cooked dinner today, all the stuff that i like to eat. i think she still knows me best, having brought me up for 14 years. i do miss her dearly ): and its great to see everyone so happy in the family. its quite a blessing i believe.

good luck to all those who are studying hard! try not to get distracted. (like me)

someone help me delete pokemon from my phone the next time you see me thanks.

goodbye then (:

2007-08-23T23:07:00.000+08:00

okay i suddenly thought of a new analogy.

was just eating my dad's horrid fried "rock" nuggets, chewing like i've never chewed before, trying hard to swallow, and then i suddenly thought of this.

although the nuggets really suck on the outside, because you really have to chew like hell and totally squeeze your jaws to sink your teeth in, once you're on the inside, it really really tastes good (analogy. actually it didn't really taste very nice hehe.) so i was thinking, maybe "rock" nuggets are like taking exams. you really have to grit your teeth, persevere like hell. (chew and chew) but then when you finally get to the nice part of rewarding results, ah, the sense of satisfaction engulfs you.

well i can only say 2 words right now.

thanks dad :D

2007-08-20T23:03:00.000+08:00

today's journey home was a long one. went to parkway after studying to get something, but i missed the 76 bus. haha. so from then on it was more than an hour before i got home. but now that i've got my nice walkman phone back with all the songs, gosh i do cherish these moments i have with myself. listening to songs on a long bus ride back at night certainly gives you the "i'm in another world" feeling. haha. been a long time since i've felt like that.

i've got timberlake's futuresex/lovesounds album on my phone. and i've been listening to it for so long but it wasn't till today that i realised there's an emo song in the album! not those kind of sex-ed up jiggly rhythm boombooms in like most of the other songs. but really that kind of wah, meltxzxzxz. like how guin would say. hahaha. he should seriously have more songs like that.

oh well. today i suddenly felt quite depressed. feeling as if i suddenly became very small, struggling to cope with all the shit in this world. and when i say shit i mean GP prelims which is already next monday. thinking about it just makes me sick argh. theres seriously not much time left, wonder how i'm gonna be able to finish everything. god help me.

oh and btw, i stayed in school today till 8! latest i've even stayed till for reasons other than choir this year. haha. but of course i was doing work. i think studying at night in school feels great, because there's less commotion and people and more space to yourself, physically and mentally. haha. reminds me of promo days, when i used to stay till 9 plus. well gonna start that again soon. home is such a bad place to study. for example now, when i actually am supposed to be doing my chem but still ended up blogging. haha. ah well. who cares. blogging is such a rarity nowadays anyway.

oh well, i've just been too lazy to put down my thoughts here, although i've been thinking alot about stuff recently.

ah. why did it go away so fast. i can't understand why.

till next time then (:

2007-08-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

okay yay i've finally decided to come out of my hiatus. okay actually there was not hiatus, just that i've been such a bum lately, although there's been many things i've wanted to blog about. haha. oh well 230th post! nice even numberr.

alright this week has totally been wonderful, except for the fact that i haven't touched any work or notes or whatever since tuesday and thats SUPER TERRIBLE. and whats worse is that i'm gonna be sitting for some psychiometric test that shiyi and jiaqing psychoed me to go for, when actually i'm not even intending to work in the government sector next time. wadda hell am i doing. lol. I NEED TO STUDY! argh, whats the point of saying this. haha.

anyway, i wanna say a BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG THANK YOU to everyone who made this national day (yea alot of you all wish me happy national day -.-) week a superduper nice one, one of the best i've ever had (: haha. shall talk abit about these few days in the next paragraphs.

wednesday:
spent an evening at jerrold's house cooking, eating, laughing, watching tv and whoring. we haven't had such a magnitude of a gathering for so long already and thank god it was a good one. haha. and i'm totally zai at cooking the nuggets please. lol. but huping's sushi was even nicer. koped food like mad until when the real dinner started i was already full. haha. anyway thanks for the "desperate houseboys" shirt. i totally love it although it doesn't reflect me as a person. HAHA.

thursday:
okay the previous night i was like telling soo, wah lau my mum scold me sia on my birthday. she was like scolding me about my room and telling me to go to bed. but obviously i couldn't be bothered to argue. haha. and i also think i told chingxz i bet my church friends are too lazy to do anything. BUT THEN, gosh the next morning i woke up the whole GANG of them were there in my room. and i seriously thought i was dreaming, totally shell shockish okay! imagine some guy still drooling on his pillow with his hair like some kokkokkei still lying on his bed with like many people staring at him. yea thats me, being unglam when i wasn't even AWARE. haha. but yea can't thank you loggers enough (: best surprise ever! ganged up with my evil mum. lol. heng i play pokemon until damn late, thats why sleeping like a super Thir. (pig)

then i had lunch with my parents at some broken down coffeeshop at amk ave 2 opposite horizon gardens. my dad's intention was not to be extravagant, refusing to go to vivo or whatever to eat, but HAHA. in the end we spent 70 bucks eating at the western stall there. i had some 34 bucks steak which my mum ordered for me (i think to spite my dad), but i was just keeping quiet. innocent party! lol. ate like a Thir again, the amount of fries we had could make a mini-hill. lol. in the end my dad was like, "aiyah sian. should have gone to vivo." HAHA. funny ttm.

then the evening was spent with sherwin, alena, isabelle, cherissa, kenny and yizha! went to town to eat and watch fireworks. totally had a smashing time (: and yea i had fun smashing the stupid rock cake too. lol. i think polar cheated us leh really. anyway we managed to catch the fireworks just on time! but had to like squeeze through gazillions of people with armpitxz smells everywhere, then ended up watching through branches. haha. but it was super nice anyway, i thought this year's fireworks was nicer than usual. actually everything this year seemed nicer. lol. well, totally enjoyed all the talking and laughing and singing and grooving and whoring at fullerton till the security guard chased us away. i totally didn't want the night to end, totally felt like the time when we were leaving pattaya. haha. and i think what ween said on her blog's really true. why pattaya not earlier, otherwise we would have more time for each other already. ): i'll never forget all the things we shared, the pongsakongs, puasius, laocais, POTTs, choose fingers blahblahblah. haha, total unleashment of retardedness. oh well. thank god for this great group over here, (plus all the others who disappeared: mel, sx, enoch, rhoda, may) :D

today:
NOTHING TO SAY LA. just that i slacked the whole day away. only good thing is that i went to gym to work off all the BUI BA i chalked up for the past few days. hahaha. eh that sounded funny! lol. can't believe i'm laughing at my own sentence hahahaha. anyway i deserve to die for not studying!

okay i made an effort this year to reply to all those who wished me after last years aftermath where i replied some but didn't reply to others then many people say i biased. HAHA. but yea thanks to all who wished me and gave me stuff! can't be thankful enough for the great friends and family i have :D

this entry somehow took super long to blog. partly because my kitchen just got FLOODED and i had to help to clear the water. alright happy national day week people. TIME TO STUDY! off i go!

2007-07-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

okay i haven't blogged in a gazilliontrillion years so i think its time make things come alive! muaha. not that i have anything to blog about at this moment currently. lol.

hmm what can i say? i'm trying to chiong finish harrypotter and maybe finish before guin does along the way but that doesn't seem to be happening because i have so many other stuff to do! like today when my @(#*$&(#%&* gp teacher suddenly told us that she wanted us to do a gp essay and hand up tmr. and that was like the only thing i did all day, besides going to bugis to collect ting's shirt plus buying another shirt for myself. spent like what 2 hours writing an essay on crime, which i've never touched before. haha. but of course with a phone chat in between.

gah. prelims is coming so fast i can feel it. but my birthday is coming even faster although somehow i'm not thinking about it. haha. thats for you guys to think i guess? WAHA. kidding lah. anyway my grandma just gave me a hongbao with 20 bucks inside. yay. haha. remembered she use to give me 100 bucks, but that was before she got into an accident and lost abit of her memory. haha oh well. not complaining (:

okay blog more next time. for now, i'm off to potter again. GOODBYE.

2007-07-18T23:05:00.000+08:00

okay reading all the posts bout pattaya just made me emo again. gosh i really do miss that god-forsaken place, because the trip was special for many reasons. special because it was my LAST TRIP as a vjchoir member, and maybe because it was spent with alot of yr 1s. haha. its nice to blend it with the group, the yr 1s are a great lot.

i told sherwin the other day that vjchoir is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life, and that still doesn't change. this journey with the choir has given me lots of new experiences, love, passion that i think i won't be able to find any more in the future. the friendships i've forged are all invaluable, although there may have been differences along the way. wow, but when you put everything together, you can't help but feel saddened that you finally have to leave this thing you hold so dearly to your heart behind.

and to think i joined choir by chance, the day i was supposed to go audition for drama instead. guess that it was all planned by God, and i can't be thankful enough.

whats even better is that even as a normal member without any post or anything, the amount of contributions you can make, the things you get back in return, are numerous as well. i've enjoyed doing many things for vjchoir, including playing all the retarded roles in every single real concert we've performed in, helping others with the notes and music, helping in choreography blahblahblah. but the one thing that i treasure most for being able to do is to pray, not just by myself, but as a choir.

the last prayer i said for the choir was just before our open mixed competition. and i guess during that time i only decided to ask everyone to join in prayer because i was constantly prompted to do so. but once the prayer started everything just started pouring in, the talents God had given to all of us to sing for this choir, the amazing warmth and trust that God provides when we're really in need, to be able to sing for his glory ultimately. Indeed, this choir has been blessed by God, abundantly.

well, enough about me. in actual fact, i think we year2s can leave this choir knowing that it will eventually be in good hands. i'm seriously amazed by how much the year1s have improved, not only in their singing ability. i just hope the same mistakes our batch made would not be repeated. and i'm really proud of all of you, year1s. (: thanks for allowing me to stick with you guys. haha.

and thanks to the yr 2s as well. because i'm really proud of our batch as well. we've come a long way, and i think this can be considered as quite a beautiful ending. onward to As!

a voyage of songs. how apt.

yup so i finally broke my silence on this blog. i'm seriously getting sick of this template of mine haha. but i've got no time to find a new one. shucks. and i quit doing my econs case study to type this entry, gotta chiong copy tmr. otherwise i'll get chased out of class.

time to get really worried about my studies! at least, i have much more time now! but i'm seriously not used to being so free lol. hopefully, i'll be smart enough to make use of every single second i have to my advantage. UNLIKE NOW.

okay no. i'm glad i typed this entry. yay. haha.

till next time then, readers of my blog (:

2007-07-12T15:14:00.000+08:00

OKAY OFF TO PATTAYA! I DUNNO WHAT ELSE TO WRITE.

except

i hope i have fun and i hope that i can ride on the cameras of others. becos i'm not bringing one. haha. okay it seems like every sentence with ride sounds wrong nowadays.

take care everyone. i won't miss you people. hahaha.

but i know you will miss me :D

okay totally kidding. byeeeee last entry of this week.

2007-07-11T00:46:00.000+08:00

2 more days to pattaya.

gosh i AM looking forward to it. just to escape from this suddenly horrid world i'm living in, where everything seems to be turning sour.

haha nothing seems to be going right for me at this moment. this is so terrible.

and i'm frustrated by how fast this has become like nothing. gah.

this is such a whatever entry. i'm off!

2007-07-09T01:06:00.000+08:00

why. did this have to happen.
what. am i supposed to do or say.
which. am i supposed to feel.
who. am i supposed to turn to.
how. am i going to pretend that i'm okay when i'm not.

sigh. this is gonna be a struggle.

2007-07-08T16:25:00.000+08:00

hey! how come so many people aren't wearing green. we're supposed to support the fight against global warming! haha. alright neither did i. only reason is because the only green shirt i have was the one i bought from italy last year, which is green and PINK. so totally gay. and i've only worn it once ever since i bought it, don't think i'm wearing it ever again. haha.

alright its pouring like mad outside my window right now, and i'm stuck at home feeling all restless, bored, worried, emotional. guess its a culmination of so many things thats been happening for the past few weeks or days. i have yet to pack my notes since the end of CT2s and theres been something in my head saying GO PACK but obviously i'm too lazy. my table is seriously in a mess ah and i don't think i can do any work till i've cleared it up. EXCUSES EXCUSES EXCUSES.

there's really not much time left to prelims i realise. and there are SO many things i need to touch up on, if i really want to do well. i think i've let myself down again this CT2s and its like shit, theres no longer any chance to redeem myself before prelims. guess i should have taken things more seriously from the beginning. AYE. feel sad when i see people around me getting good results but i'm not.

and i succumbed to laziness this morning, deciding not to wake up to go for mass because of how tired i was feeling. and then now again i don't feel like going in the evening because i just feel like staying put at home, and maybe laze my guts out or something. but then again if i don't go my mum will kill me for sure, so she's going to send me there at 5.30. AH. whats becoming of me. i don't even want to go mass.

the devil is one strong son of a bitch. i remember, there was a time when i used to pray (quite) regularly, attended daily mass, said my graces before meals, praise god for every single good little thing that happened to me. if only i could get this level of spirituality back, cos it makes me feel in sync with everything around me, be it school, friends or whatever. no problem seemed big enough for me, and there were no prolonged periods of sadness. aye.

this is why they say, God give you comfort. and i do need that comfort right now i guess.

i wonder how come i get so irritated easily these days, and how come i seem to think differently about certain things. is it part of growing up, or is my brain getting screwed up? i don't know. but thank goodness there always seems to be something pulling me back from that one wrong step that could ruin things around me, one by one.

theres also always this fear. i've been trying to keep things going, and hopefully there would be a chance to make things happen. but that chance never seems to come. haha.

patience is the word. patience.

alright this has been one long entry. and i think i spent more time thinking about the stuff going on in my life than typing. haha. what can i do? we all have to cope with our lives. if you're not gonna end it, live it.

okay i realise i don't feel any better now. and i thought blogging would improve my mood. haha. ah well. hopefully mass would.

time to change the mindset and move the feet people!

2007-07-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

oh man oh man elliott yamin songs are totally making me melt at this moment. there's just this weird awful feeling thats going through me, and i probably know the reason why i'm feeling this way. aye.

well at least i did some maths today.

"A Song For You"

I’ve been so many places in my life and time
I’ve sung a lot of songs, and I made some bad rhymes
I‘ve acted out my life on stages, with ten thousand people watching
But were alone now, and I’m singing this song to you.

I know your image of me is what I hope to be.
I’ve treated you unkindly, but darlin’ can’t you see.
There’s no one more important to me, baby can’t you see through me.
Cuz were alone now, and I’m singing this song to you

You taught me precious secrets, Of a true love, with holding nothing.
You came out in front when I was hiding.
But now I’m so much better, and if my words don’t come together
Listen to the melody, cuz my love is in there hiding

I love you in a place, where there’s no space or time.
I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song to you.

I love you in a place, where there’s no space or time.
Said I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine.
And when my life is over, remember, remember when we were together
We were alone and I was singing this song to you.

We were alone and I was singing this song to you.
Singing this song to you.

2007-07-01T17:19:00.001+08:00

okay i think i was too emotional yesterday. forget about the last post. haha.

shit la haven't eaten anything the whole day except hot cakes. and ended up playing 2 hours of winning eleven, 1 hour of sega games and another 2 hours of soccer. now i'm famished can't wait for dinner.

yup this is so random BYEBYE.

2007-07-01T00:49:00.000+08:00

so i was in the toilet showering, and then so many thoughts were flowing through my head.

i so wanted to blast the hell out of you, vent all my anger and frustrations and sadness in an entry. about the the fairness in question here, about the things you said, about those untrue things that you said.

but what the hell. would there be a point in doing that? obviously not. i've grown up and taking things in my stride should be the right thing to do.

let bygones be bygones. so cliche, yet so true.

well i guess some people just don't know me well enough. to know that friendship isn't something i would willingly sacrifice or forget about for other things. to know that i always try to stay true to who i am, and that i haven't changed drastically from who i was last time. to know that i always try to make an effort, though i fail sometimes, to make things around me better.

aye its just so sad. and i haven't felt this sad for a long time now. this is even more heart wrenching than being rejected by someone. trust me, it is.

why is it so hard to maintain a balance? be it studies, relationships, friendships. whatever. somehow some other party inevitably gets affected, and i myself get affected as well. why do people always have wrong perceptions of other people? why can't we live in a world of perfect competition (economics.), where there is full knowledge about every single piece of living and non living shit? sigh. why the hell am i trying to crack a joke when i'm feeling so emotional.

maybe its a sign. being angsty and pissed off isn't oliver-ish. its times like this when you feel like you're REALLY becoming someone else. aye.

and i still wish that my life could still be more god orientated. somehow, i'm still losing it. but still hanging in there. and so i shall continue to hang on.

if you remember, my msn nick for one period of time was, "maintaining a perfect balance." useless random nick? nah. so much more to it.

and theres so much more to me than you guys know. (:

i hope this emotion ends tonight. and i hope you never see this post. goodbye.

2007-06-29T11:49:00.001+08:00

okay so cts are finally over but i don't feel any sense of relief or anything cos ho wei kang sent an email to remind us to start doing our tutorials after 2 days of rest. AH. he's such a bugger. lol. but just to relax after my last paper yesterday we went to eat goodfood and plaza sing kopitiam, watched transformers (which is ultimate coolness but with a kiddy storyline), came home and played dota till 4.30am.

and here i am now in the afternoon. and i suspect this is gonna be one long and boring day. shucks i'm supposed to be out having fun, what am i doing at home! lol. the rest are at k-box, but i'm so not into chinese songs. haha oh well. choir tmr! maybe thats one thing to look forward to. singsingsingsingsing. i miss singing.

alright. and i wanted to talk about yesterday, which is totally, weird public transport day. haha. it seemed like everytime i took public transport sth weird would happen. the first was when my entire class boarded the 16 bus supposed to head to town, but little did we know that the driver was a NOOB driver. haha. and when i say noob he's really noob. he turned into the wrong lane. and guess what lane he turned into.

MARINE VISTA. lol.

so its like an entire bus of vj people plus other people drove past even more vj people walking out. and everyone was laughing their heads off and i could see people whipping out their cameras to take a shot. i wonder if anyone sent it to stomp. lol. so the bus driver drove into vj, reversed and turned back and then continued on the normal route. WEIRD RIGHT. haha.

and whats even worse the bus driver keeps forgetting to close the back door. and so happens i was just sitting beside it. so a few of us kept shouting, UNCLE CLOSE THE DOOR! and he takes a while to hear and absorb and process. before he finally closes it. and then after we dropped, he forgot to close the door again. haha.

okay so the second case happened on the mrt train back home. though it wasn't really funny just except that all of a sudden some black liquid thing started flowing all over the floor across 2 cabins. the first time i've seen such a thing happen on a train. (okay this is so not worth mentioning.)

AND YAH so there you have it. weird public transport day.

i'm off to find something more interesting to do. this entry is getting rambly and long. haha cya guys!

2007-06-24T01:05:00.000+08:00

here's a testimony. i think my mum and dad are superduper religious.

i went into their room to wash up just now. and the aircon in their room was spoilt so both of them were like trying to fix the aircon (or just my dad). then suddenly my mum say okay lets pray so they both raised their hands over the aircon and started praying. I WOULD NEVER HAVE IMAGINED MY DAD DOING THAT IN THE PAST. not so my mum. haha my mum was even praying in tongues omg.

so okay i'm like lets see what happens. and after i came out from the bathroom zomg the aircon was working again. haha. and my mum said, "sure working la. pray already."

hahah. the power of prayer? you decide for yourself.

canteen tmr! gotta wake up at 6 but its already 1.15 and i'm still awake ahhh. where has everyone gone! left all alone ):

2 more days to D-Day.
5 more days to Partial Freedom.
4 more months to A levels.
5 more months to COMPLETE freedom.

can't wait.

2007-06-23T01:02:00.000+08:00

there are TWO things which i absolutely hate right now.

1. Econs

a totally totally hatable subject with lotsa crap that i have no interest in. why the hell did i take econs in the first place i wonder. RAH. i don't think i'm going to do well in econs at all. wait, i don't even know whether i'll be able to write ANYTHING. blahblahblahblah ):

2. Pringles

this is like, i hate you but i totally love you. why are you so delicious and crunchy and savoury and tasty. so simply irresistable? its like everytime i walk into the kitchen the 4 tins of pringles on the table are greeting me, tempting me. AHHH. but pringles, why do you make people fat!

i can't believe i'm talking to pringles. everything is driving me nuts RAH!

on the contrary, don't think i'm crazy now, i'm more stable than i sound. haha.

1 MORE WEEK TO TEMPORARY FREEDOM (2 days free from studying)

can't wait.

2007-06-21T23:47:00.001+08:00

i have this great sense of fear (suddenly) within my heart, my being, my inner soul. shit its a familiar feeling. and you know whats that feeling?

the feeling of being unprepared for an exam.

AYE. i think i'm going to regret not working hard enough for everything so far. and just slacking my bum off like mad. and thinking that i'll still pull through in the end.

maybe i'm not aware of all the expectations. maybe i'm not expecting enough from myself. i know i can do it if i study, but why am i not studying hard enough! argh.

sudden burst of frustrations. sorry.

and today soo said, "i'm gonna reap what i sow (for A's) i don't care." what the hell am i gonna reap, when i haven't sown anything. well i can start to sow now, but i'm gonna need super good fertilisers and weather and conditions and commitment to make sure i reap something.

or a time machine could work as well. AHH help me.

2007-06-20T18:46:00.000+08:00

okay i think studying overnight at the airport doesn't really work. total productivity rate is like the opposite of an exponential curve. i think studying at home could be better! GAH i miss home baby. 2 consecutive nights i've not slept on my own bed in the comfort of my own room.

anyway my com was spoilt for like 2 days! and then people were saying GOOD now you can concentrate on your studies. but me being the guy who can't live without his com went on a mission to fix it up. and now, TADA. i did it (yet again) and my com is literally taped up now. no joke, all serious. the cpu casing is totally collapsing.

mum says we're gonna get a laptop! well i hope its gonna come true. haha. for now i'll just survive with my this sentimental piece of junk.

COMMON TESTS next week. how nice. not prepared at all.

okay wait i am prepared.

prepared to die! yay.

god bless me.

2007-06-17T17:42:00.000+08:00

its a foregone conclusion: i'm screwed for midyears.

guess i'll just have to do my best from now on. 7 days left, 56 hours. is it going to be possible? i hope my determination doesn't get broken.

so much to do, so many commitments, yet so little time.

how did 3 weeks pass so quickly. aye.

oh please, help me not to care.

2007-06-15T23:18:00.003+08:00

i find this quite amusing. HAHA.

2007-06-14T11:24:00.000+08:00

ah sorry i couldn't wake up for breakfast this morning!

and i just woke up from the worst dream ever. i dreamt that i got

GBBG

for my A levels. HAHA. plus D7 for my GP. i'm not sure how the G grade suddenly appeared but it surely was a shit grade no doubt. cos i was damn sad in my dream. G for chem and physics! lol.

plus everyone around me was getting As and As and As.

nightmare. NIGHTMARE.

maybe its a sign.

2007-06-14T00:55:00.001+08:00

okay today was not really an eventful day because most of the time i spent with myself OUTSIDE. haha. the first time i've been so sorang all my life.

had final choir prac in the morning with nelson. then when to cut hair and eat before i embarked on a long (not very) journey of mugging which lasted from what 1.30 to bout 5.15. i think minus the 1 hour of daydreaming plus whatever i think i effectively spent almost 3 hours? not very good leh sian. anyway i was studying in macs then suddenly macs became super stinko. its like a urine explosion suddenly happened or sth, the whole place just smelt like urine. and one table by one table hoards of people departed the stinkbomb of a restaurant. but i knitted and gritted my teeth and through my honest determination i continued sitting in my not so comfortable corner and finished my maths topics. haha. well at least those that i targetted to finish. yay. and i didn't buy anything from macs thats the great thing, i just koped an almost empty cup from the previous person sitting at the table and pretended it was mine. and that was my license to 4 hours of mugging in a fastfood restaurant.

learn from me! Muahahaha.

alright as you can see i'm seriously just ranting today. all the weird sentences and descriptions are just coming out lol.

argh i don't think i can wake up for breakfast tmr. another day of mugging ahead.

mugging sucks to the core.

2007-06-11T00:59:00.001+08:00

okay i'm rather lazy to update these days. cos all my thoughts seem to be in a mess i can't really be bothered to sort them out. haha. and i tried finding a new template! and i did find one. but then after awhile i thought it was too gay so i removed it. bet none of you all saw it. like phew (:

what a tiring day it has been. woke up at 8 to go church. came home at 2, slept an hour. slacked an hour. then left for jiamingxz's party till like 10 plus. tiring, and UNPRODUCTIVE. thats the worst. argh. i realise i haven't been productive enough once this holidays.

2 weeks have passed already! and i truly need a miracle to pull through this time. the miracle would come about with 2 things. determination and perserverance. things i've been lacking all my life. well. in my studies at least.

anyway roger federer lost again! when is he gonna win roland garros. hahaha. poor thing i think rafael nadal rocks. love his arm muscles. woo. sounds gay.

alright this entry is totally random and everything. haha i'm off! tag my board people (:

2007-06-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

shit i can't find words to describe how shitty i'm feeling right now.

its like everything come together. a big lump of SHIT. haha.

aye i feel terrible.

so many things to worry about.

maybe its the weather. i dunno.

somebody save me. ):

2007-06-03T20:09:00.000+08:00

i'm getting a new com yay! (maybe) haha. okay shan't get too happy yet. but seriously i think i need a new one, cos my current one is already 9 years old and its starting to break down. i was fixing it till 2.30am last night omg. can't stand it seriously. haha. yup so went down to simlim square with ben today to check out parts! i'm seriously damn noob when it comes to computer hardware. totally clueless can. SOMEONE gimme advice on what to get. haha.

oh well nevermind thats still secondary.

today something meaningful was said during session. can't really remember what it was exactly. but its something like

you don't have to make sense of everything that happens around you. all you need is trust.

if only i wouldn't worry so much about stuff. aye.

BOOKSBOOKSBOOKS! i must love you. make me love you.

2007-06-01T01:20:00.000+08:00

ALRIGHT PEOPLE. be impressed. cos for this week, i've ran on every single day from monday till now! and its 6km every time i run. wahahaha. it feels so shiok i hope i can maintain. then my aim will be achieved! what aim? go figure. lol.

alright went to sell paper men today for cip! had zha sx and hp to come along with me, and i think i had quite alot of fun walking from door to door going,

"hello i'm a student from vjc, and i'm doing voluntary work today. erm okay you see (raises up the paper men at their faces), i'm helping to run a project called SIMPLY LOVE and this project aims to help the intellectually disabled of singapore. WHAT you can do is that you can donate money and you can get this paper men and write words of encouragement to these people! its only 2 dollars per paper man. would you like to donate?"

yadayadayadayada.

okay this is not really what i say everytime because you do get people who ask alot of random questions. and then you have to start talking about MINDS (movement for intellectually disabled of singapore) and that 100% of the funds go to the home for the int disabled children blahblahblah. and then you get people who get this feeling that i'm a CONMAN when i'm NOT. there was this one guy who said,

"gimme your name and the name of the organisation. i'll make a direct donation there. i've been had too many times."

LOL poor guy. i just gave him the brochure and said dunneed to put my name. well, i encountered at least 3 of these kinda people. and they all had long stories to tell. haha.

okay so at the end of it all me and zha managed to sell 40 paper men! (80 bucks) but then while counting money downstairs in the wind, my 5 dollar note PER KI (fly away), and then i couldn't find it. super depressing i dunno how the 5 dollars can fly until so far. look for so long also cannot find. guess its just my luck that i have to donate 5 dollars of my own. haha.

anyway. YAY I FINALLY GOT SOME CIP HOURS. lol. moremoremoremore!

aye okay i need to start chionging my studies! better stop all the gaming and slacking around. its time to buck up oliver lee! lol. feels weird calling my own name. i need to get good results for CT2 otherwise i think my mother will sorta slaughter me. haha. SHIT SO MUCH TO DOOOO. help. i need huping brain power! lol.

strings concert tmr! and brazil vs england a few hours later. yay i can't wait (:

come back come back! (info: not referring to what you guys are thinking bout now (:)

2007-05-29T10:28:00.000+08:00

the newzealanders have flown away! went to send them at the airport, gosh i think they're gonna have so much fun. the airport is such a nostalgic place (yes i've said it a thousand times), and seeing these kinda school trips just makes me think back bout the times in sec school, italy. blah. how i wish i could turn back time and go back to those moments. i love school trips, but school trips are expensive. i mean, duh. lol.

after that we spent an entire night at david's house playing dota, talking and err pigging out. i can't believe i ate so much yesterday! i thought i was gonna die in the morning looking at the mirror, but then Ah to my relief my fat content didn't increase that significantly. haha. oh well but i bet the pimples are gonna come out soon, thanks to the potato chips cum lack of sleep. i better go catch a nap later!

ah shit. it hasn't even been a day.
but i'm already missing you.

2007-05-27T23:35:00.001+08:00

shucks i haven't updated in almost a week! and so manymany things have happened. but as usual i'm too lazy to put it all down. haha.

spent almost the entire day pigging out at the FOOD EXPO today. it was like eating a buffet, i felt SO bloated after that. and we all came out smelling like we just got fried in a frying pan. haha. well i must say the food is really not bad! esp the taiwan sausages, dodo, taiwan snow ice, kongba, kuehpaiti. well thats most of what i ate i think? lol. and for the first time i saw fermented toufu and gosh it really smells bad! totally smells like laosai can. and someone still go buy and eat! hahaha.

okay if you haven't gone, then you should really go. but its reallyreally crowded omg. just don't go on a sunday. haha.

anyway, i think this morning's session was really kinda fruitful and meaningful. i mean like even though there were only 3 of them, its still great to know that there are still people who are willing to give themselves and god a chance, and give us a chance to reach out to them as well! like i said this morning, nothing feels better than being able to share the marvels and wonders of God with others.

LOG is a transformation, for every single lucky logger! haha. lets not forget that it was god who made this transformation happen. and omg, i'm finally listening to some christian songs, after like 19849845648 years. haha. praise god? (:

hmm this whole thing is such a mixture of emotions. now i'm starting to think, what do i even want? i mean maybe its not for me to decide as well. and somehow, i still sort of have this fear that i'll lose whatever i have now, more esp when i feel insufficient at times. i guess staying happy is great, anything more would be a blessing (:

to yuting, jerrold and wan ting, HAVE FUN AT NZ!

2007-05-22T22:40:00.000+08:00

okay it totally SUCKS when you forget to bring out your wallet and your keys. i just got stuck outside my house for one and half hours because i forgot to tell my mum i wasn't coming back late anymore. SO in the end she and my dad went for prayer and i had to wait till my ass cracked sitting on the wooden bench outside. haha. i was like looking forward to going to the toilet to shit because i actually had a terrible stomachache, but in the end i hold until by the time they come back also no more. HAHA. oh well.

shan't talk about school. shall talk about the wonderful organic vegetarian dinner me, sw, sx, zha and hp had at fortune centre. my FIRST real vegetarian meal. well actually, it didn't turn out to be that bad, although i seriously dislike eating veggies. but when i have no choice i'll just eat lol. i seemed to have no choice at that point in time. anyway we had mutton curry (realmuttonrox!) , salad prawn, plus individual plates of food. i had whore fun, which totally tasted veggie-ish. haha. i wonder how i managed to finish it!

anyway woah we were lucky shitxz because huping's uncle and aunty suddenly popped up. and seeing huping their poor nephew not eating, his aunty immediately ordered a bowl of "la mian" for him, although his pleas for her not to were sorta incessant. haha. IN ADDITION zomg she ordered one extra plate of rojak for all of us and paid for EVERYTHING that we ate! quite ex can like almost 25 bucks i think. super nice aunty. anyway she was like saying, "ni men tuo huping de fu ba" hahah. seriously godsent.

oh and one additional piece of information. bugis mcdonald's icecreamcone has toppled marinasquare's as the BEST islandwide! the one in bugis seriously tastes expensive lol. not like some 50 cent cheap shit. go try. trust MY judgement. haha.

yup so new exco has been elected! and adhoc and crc are officially gonna step down tmr as well. i'm lazy to type out who's who, so go check out the exco names on other peoples blogs! oh and if you've seen penguins around the school walls, thats the new president. lol. anyway, i think this year's exco is a rather stable group. so work hard and don't let us down!

sigh i miss the old vjchoir. when everything seemed so much nicer, so much easier, so much less stressful. i miss the old times, the old ignorant bochup but really fun times. the zainess of vjchoir MUST BE MAINTAINED! i'm not sure how we're gonna accomplish that though, or how the next batch is gonna do it.

i've decided to go for pattaya. and i think many other yr 2s have decided to go as well! we really really need you ): if only every single parent could be understanding. sigh.

i seriously need to do some song updating! all of you with goodywoody songs out there. please send me some! and i love chris daughtry. not in the gay way obviously. his voice rocks! haha.

and to you, thanks (:

out i go!

2007-05-19T16:55:00.000+08:00

had a rather unexpectedly long choir prac today, was expecting it to end quick. but in the end we wasted to much time dragging the practice with lousy singing and all. super waste time aye.

pattaya, or not? i really don't see how we can go there and compete when there's gonna be less that half the choir going there, or maybe slightly more. i want to go, but yet i'm worried about my studies, plus whats the point of going when the main people who you've gone through so much with aren't going? is this a choir? this is not even a choir. i don't feel any spirit. no aim, no nothing. going for the sake of going. then whats the point?

this is totally not the case of, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. more like the flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak. oh well.

hopefully things would get sorted out real soon. otherwise more and more people are just gonna get emotional. GOD please give us a solution.

anyway had lunch with fran, huping, may, kenny, yuting. turned out to be really a fruitful lunch with lotsa talk haha. the bus ride home was fruitful as well! at least i managed to churn out some stuff i've been keeping to myself.

i'm really trying to figure out. there are seriously some things at this point of time in my life that are worth fighting to keep, some things which are not. which are the things which are worth my effort? i really don't know. everything i do somehow affects the other, although i try really hard to maintain a balance.

i also don't want myself to get too emotional, too disturbed. i mean, i sorta realised maybe its not worth it. although there have been many times in the past where i've just let myself be thrown into the middle of things and sink into this emotional world of my own.

maybe i should just learn how to let go. maybe.

2007-05-17T23:18:00.000+08:00

sigh. i just wish i could feel secure bout this for once! its so irritating.

i'm seriously banking on like fullday/halfday tmr. never did any of my tutorials! because i'm still in the slack mode. i probably need to start working hard soon aye.

i feel like i have something on tmr evening but i can't remember what it is! although i've been trying to for the entire day. argh.

IRRITATING TTM.

off i go.

2007-05-16T18:11:00.000+08:00

i realise that i hate times like these, when i have to spend the entire day at home, with no one to talk to you and only having the computer and work to entertain you. its such a bad feeling aye. i think i would have been better off going to school today, loneliness sucks.

but oh well, i've been lonely for the past 17 years of my life anyway. haha.

SOV 2007. its finally over. but i never wanted it to be. well the concert was quite a success i guess, we got a standing ovation after our last song (though maybe for the wrong reasons), but i think we deserve it for all the hard work we've put in as a choir. from a shit choir, to a top gold with honours choir. all this wouldn't have been possible if we hadn't stuck together, and had constantly pushed each other on, with dreams flowing in our minds.

i must say, i really feel quite lost now. because taking away vjchoir is like taking away a vital part of my life. it seems as if there's nothing to look forward to now in school, except tutorials, lectures. no more gruelling sectionals, combined practices, ugly and beautiful music. not only will i miss the singing which i'm so passionate about, but also every single choir member, who has made my jc life such a joy to live.

its really kind of a bittersweet feeling. i initially thought i would be a broken tap (like yizha said) after yesterday's concert, but somehow, i didn't feel too sad. more of glad i guess, that we the year 2s haven't let the choir down at the end of it all, although faced with alot of pressure right from the beginning. i'm PROUD of this batch of singers, although we may not be the most united group. but somehow or another, we all know whats best for vjchoir, and we put in our best effort, no matter how tiring it can get. thats the most important thing.

oh well what else can i say, although there's still pattaya trip, somehow i know it won't feel the same because many people aren't going to be there. people that i'm close to especially. its kind of sad, but ultimately, we do it for the choir.

concentrate on studies, ace my A levels? hope i can keep to this daunting task. for now, the memories that this choir has given me is still, and will always be, flowing in my head.

i LOVE VJCHOIR (:

nomanisanisland-

2007-05-13T00:41:00.000+08:00

YEAH BABAY! its my 200th post. yet another blogging milestone for me. hahah. but its not really my 200th since i actually have 2 old blogs. which i hope you guys NEVER FIND. lol. its embarrassing to think how to think how twittish i was in the past.

today was just choirchoirchoir from 830am all the way to 5 plus. gah its so tiring i think i should stop singing so loud and stuff, i feel like saving my voice. my throat couldn't hold for the entire day. it was like giving way just before nelson's prac! lol. ANYWAY. nelson did a full sov run today and gosh did he GO MAD. never has he been so pissed off at one of his choirs before i think. super pmsy he was shouting like so mad dog at us. hahah. but i wasn't scared. kinda immune to scolding nowadays, and i had a feeling that nelson was just pretending to be fierce. oh well. maybe he's not? but we need to sing better from TOMORROW onwards. otherwise at this rate SOV is just gonna be a shit concert and we're gonna let down all the wonderful people who paid 21 bucks for the ticket. haha.

but don't worry you guys, vjchoir will rise up to the occasion. that i'm quite sure of. WORKHARD!!

its reallyreallyreallyreallyreally very sad because after SOV choir is virtually over for yr2s! no wonder they say treasure the time you have in vjchoir, because before you know it its gonna be over. and i'm gonna miss everything about this choir, the practices, the fun, the friends, the wonderful juniors. you name it! choir is like the thing i look forward to most in school. how oh how. tell me HOWW.

please go for pattaya ): you, and you, andyouandyouandyouandyou!

ah well dunno why i'm feeling quite energized now. but i probably should sleep soon since there's choir tmr! gah. on a sunday.

anyway, esplanade seems to be a favourite maht/mina hangout on saturday evenings. but it was nice looking at the scenery nonetheless. but seriously, CLEAN THE RIVER. haha. stupid litterbugs.

TAG MY TAGBOARD LAHHHH! hahaha. OUT!

hate going through this.

2007-05-11T23:51:00.000+08:00

yay getting into the spirit of blogging once again! but my stupid blogger is still in thai for IE, so i'm using firefox now. and everything in the posting page is screwed up haha. my icons are like everywhere oh well.

just came home from lydia's birthday party! was kinda like a posh sit down chit chat buffet kind of party, with good food, good cutlery and scenery. haha. was held on a rooftop. now i'm still fulling so full because i had 3 servings of food, on top of that the fantastic pudding and honeydew sago lol. didn't do much except to eat and hang around, taking pictures, chatting with random people. housecommers were there as well, plus manymany other people lol. had a reasonably fine time overall, except that i was steaming in my pink shirt because the rooftop is so freakin hot.

oh anyway jeremygan sang oh my love solo. LOL. sommore the day before he tell me, you all better don't make me sing at the party. HAHA. no escape man.

i think my throat is dying from all the excessive singing. but then again we're not gonna get any rest because there's gonna be choir prac every single day, maybe even sunday as well. this is really full time chiong SOV, but we have no choice aye. to think i actually fell asleep singing skye boat song today omg. its such a draggy song to sing over and over again! and tmr choir is at 8.30 again can so totally die already. plus there's full run with nelson in the afternoon. i can so bet we're gonna get scolded tmr. consperm soonpah.

anyway, CHOIR PEOPLE ARE NOT YAYA OKAY. please don't have this misconception because we are so totally not arrogant and whatever. we are totally not the soccer of performing arts. please don't go listen to people who boast about vjchoir, they are like the minority. haha.

oh yes. CONGRATULATIONS TO BAND FOR GETTING HONOURS! now we're consperm gonna have a full day lol. looking forward to it yay!

sigh. i'm getting all tired and emo again.

if only i could intepret things/u better. maybe it'd make things so much clearer.
what if i'm too caught up in this world of my own?
well, perhaps i am ):

emoshitxz. haha. SIGH. off i go!

2007-05-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

yay so i've got a new template! and obviously a new template can't go without a new entry. hahaha. sorry that i've been such a bum lately. feel so unmotivated to blog.

anyway this is not gonna be a very long entry. i just want to say

GREATJOBGUYS (: we got gold with honours!! we've done vjchoir proud, and more importantly, we haven't let ourselves down!!

on top of that nelson told us today that we got top choir (: the only choir to go above the 90s, well into the 90s as well. our lowest score was supposedly 91? but it got taken away because the highest and lowest scores are taken away. lol.

well its not the end! less than a week to symphonyofvoices. and i bet you guys out there are anticipating a great show. thats why all of us have gotta slug out butts out to make sure we live up to our standards. haha. ALL THE WAY!

i'm really really really looking forward to the concert. although it'll be a super sad day because its the last concert we year 2s are gonna have ): and its been such an experience being in the choir, every single hour, min, or second. without choir, jc life wouldn't have been this meaningful. singing wouldn't have been this amazing.

thank god for this choir. you gave me the passion, and i give back my heart to you.

oh well. there's always an end to everything. its gonna be full speed chiong for A's after next tueday i've been telling myself. but dunno if i can do it! maybe i'll be too emo by then. haha.

alright i'm off to bed now. I GOT GOLD FOR NAPFA YAYAYAY. my abs hurt lol. tata people (:

nightofclouds.

2007-05-01T22:01:00.001+08:00

OMG WHY IS MY BLOGGER STILL IN THAI! i don't even understand how it can be thai in the first place lol. screwed up shit.

had choir today from 8 all the way to 3 plus. now my throat feels like zomg. and i'm tired TTM. hahah. don't think singing is easy okay. i think singing is worse than exercising can, cos its drains you physically and mentally a hell lot. singing is a PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. nelson was like having mood swing today lol. one minute angry one minute happy. but i think we can do it! we're on our way. focus and strive on (:

played soccer with the band people while waiting for may to finish her sectionals and stuff. why don't choir people play soccer! lol. got damn sweaty and everything after that, but soccer is hard to resist. haha.

the evening was then spent having dinner at cartel, chatting, takingpictures and walking by the singapore river and merlion park. had a great time! its been awhile since we got a chance to do this. haha.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAY!

in your fav purple colour. great that you enjoyed yourself (:

ah okay. NO LESSONS TMR WHOOPIE no need to do tutorial. i'm off to slack byee.

notundercontrol.

2007-04-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

okay i have no idea what is happening. but my blogger page is in THAI. so i'm navigating through the thai links. but due to my linguistic brilliance here i am at the posting page! haha right.

i just watched one of the sickest and twisted movies ever, saw 3. with my MOM. gosh it was so freakin gory my mother couldn't stop saying ohmygod ohmygod and she tried to cover my eyes at some times on top of her squealing and screaming. lol. and guess what. i couldn't stop laughing! as in i was digusted as well. but it was just damn funny somehow. maybe i was amused by my mother. haha. shit man imagine if i had watched it myself. i bet i wouldn't be laughing lol.

YUCK. pity those people who created the movie. sick and twisted minds.

alright shan't blog much since its so late argh shall head to bed. today was a fun and productive day yay! haha. goodnight to myself then.

inthestillness.

2007-04-28T00:41:00.000+08:00

i guess its always times like this when i feel like blogging. when i'm all alone facing my com, with no one to talk to, but just many thoughts wandering around in my head.

went for drama night just now with krissay. haha guess it was quite alright, except for the fact that i fell asleep halfway through the faces play, probably because i was feeling too tired. but everyone said it was damn good! so yeah kudos to drama people. plus daniel debbie and hongsheng the tree of course. good job!

after sending krissay home i took the long walk back to my house, with my walkman plugged in. had no idea why i decided to take a walk too, maybe because i just wanted some time alone with my music. haha. couldn't think about anything much, since my eyes were already blurring and all.

today isn't really a very thinky day i wonder why, i tend to think alot during times like these. haha. oh well.

okay this is such an unfruitful update. but i'm just glad i have my blog here to keeep me company at this time. yay.

out.

keepgoing.

2007-04-25T23:32:00.000+08:00

damn pissed. for the 2nd time in 2 days. with the SAME PERSON. argh. i seriously don't know whats her problem. i never even do anything to you and you keep saying stuff to provoke me. and what do you mean by you can say things to me but i can't respond and defend myself?! and whats with the body language shit, can't you tell i'm tired!? RAH. i feel like punching my wall.

anyway choir today from 3 to 8 plus. coupled with shiong pe this morning, i think i'm about to die right now. plus the thunderstorm totally drenched my shoes and my lower body. rah what a day.

SYF is in what, less than 2 weeks? and our songs are still so pitchy and all. shucks i don't know how! and we can't stop rushing. its so freaking frustrating.

gold with honours. its still a dream, lets please work hard and make it a reality.

we cannot fail. cannot.

makeorbreak.

2007-04-22T20:46:00.000+08:00

YES shit i was telling ween. i seem to have acquired a taste for EXPENSIVE ICE CREAM. omg it totally sucks up your money and i swear i'm not gonna eat anymore for a long time. (i'll try.) first it was scoopz 2 days in a row, then later in the evening a bought a bnj's cone which cost 4.50! (OMFG LA.) yes and i bought it without knowing the price -.- but it was damn nice anyway. haha.

okay quite alot of people made it through the 2nd syf auditions which is good! sorry to those who couldn't ): continue to work harder we still have pattaya! oh well i really do hope we get top choir. but first we have to worry about getting GWH FIRST! it seems like from last year till now we haven't had a SINGLE satisfying performance. we seem to screw up everytime. SHITXZ lah. we better pray that doesn't happen for syf! WE CAN DO IT.

oh yea and congratulations to strings for getting GWH! lets hope all the performing arts groups get goldorgwh, then maybe we can chant for some whateverday. since pohmeng is still ignorant to the biasness of vjc towards towards sports. haha. anyway here are some random pictures!

fashioning for the new victorian tees!

mrpoh, me, sx, ween at roxy square!

anyway session today was really good i guess. i haven't felt so "spiritually fed" in such a long time. and i think in log every single one of us are so empowered by God! lets struggle through this time together.

i just want to be where you are,
dwelling daily in your presence.
i don't want to worship from afar,
draw me near to where you are.

i want to be where you are,
dwelling in your presence.
feasting at your table,
surrounded by your glory.
in your presence,
that's where i always long to be.
i just want to be,
i just want to be, with you.

prnd.

2007-04-20T18:15:00.000+08:00

haha.

why get so worried or scared over something when there is nothing you can do about it? thats what everyone says and thats what i keep telling myself. but how come it doesn't help. sigh.

i just want it to be over i guess, over and done with.

i'm off for a run!

willyoucomewithme.

2007-04-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

shit i can't stand it there's a blood clot on my finger! and now its a freakin irritating lump which hinders my movement of the mouse and my typing. haha. got it at pastamania just now THANKS to the spoilt chair, which just giap-ed my flesh. eek painful right? haha.

well i waved it away, LIKE A MAN. lol.

today we had a half day! all thanks to the wushu and crossers for winning winning. gah even if choir wins the grandprix of choral singing i bet we won't even get a quarter day off. lol. yup so headed to VCH right after physics lecture with some choir peeps to watch choir syf for almost the rest of the day! enoch sx thong may and i were predicting what each choir were gonna get and it was quite fun. i predicted a total of 3 COPs and in the end only 1 choir got COP. haha. and poor fairfield didn't get GOH! although sx and enoch were quite adamant they were damn damn good. i couldn't say anything though, i need more CHORAL experience before i can speak out. lol.

okay i think i better get back to what i'm supposed to do.

I NEED SLEEP.

youwatchoutyou.

2007-04-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

hello there i haven't blogged since god knows when thats why i'm FORCING myself to keep my blog alive by posting now, although its already way past bedtime ): i hate it when i have so little hours of sleep. i'll just conk out during the day argh. and now i'm tempted to change from blogger to something else all thanks to mrpoh! indeed i think blogger is for NOOBS. haha. the world needs more sophistication.

i think i'm quite scared for SYF after today. sigh i think alot of us are working very hard already but somehow the quality is just not there. it sucks when hard work doesn't pay off eh? but its bad to see CERTAIN people still not pushing themselves when their place in the choir is actually at stake. what are you guys thinking huh?! gah. we need to uphold vjchoir's name please. do you understand the true meaning of vjchoir? do you?

somehow i no longer feel the zainess anymore. Big Sigh.

oh well what to do. every batch needs rebuilding time and i guess ours is just taking longer. (i hope) anyway choir prac totally drained me mentally and physically. and then i was feeling so hungry at the same time, which made me really look forward to going home for dinner. and then when i reached home and i saw what was for dinner, i totally got pissed off. ARGH. totally pissed off, but i didn't show it to my dad who cooked the food because you can count the number of dads who actually cook every day.

bittergourdsoup, friedfish (which was totally stiff and tough). just finished everything in the end and i was just glad i wasn't feeling hungry anymore.

forgot to say! guess i wasn't pissed for long. haha. sigh wonder how i can get angry at a thing like this. maybe its because like i said, drained. PHYSICALLY and MENTALLY. thats why my emotions and thinking gets screwed.

oh well then after that i just couldn't be bothered to do any work cos i was just too stoned. so i just stayed online and watched ami which totally rocked. i shall try to catch up with my work tmr! motivation motivation.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESLYNNNNNNNNN!!
EVERYONE ITS JESLYNN'S BIRTHDAY! (:

plus

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONGSHENG!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAQING!!

hope you enjoyed your days (:

its past your birthdays but i don't care. you guys are 18 now go watch your first m18 movie! haha.

okay its LATEEE i'm off.
and why do such people exist in this world argh.

pleasesaveme.

2007-04-15T15:06:00.000+08:00

today we were talking in the room and then suddenly we started talking about dragging. seems like some common thing which happens to everyone. does it only occur in our age or what. sigh indeed dragging is a terrible terrible feeling.
almost a year. how long more?
and then on the bus they were talking about fishing again which i couldn't catch any head or tail off. haha. why so complicated when everything can be so simple? anyway i'm not really talking about fishingfishing. haha.

aye i feel horrible. i've got this absolutely shitty feeling going on inside me which is due to a few reasons. one of them being the endless list of tutorials and assignments and lecture notes i need to catch up on. its A level year but i feel like i'm slacking more than i was in sec 4. ARGH. i really need to start, but i dunno where to start from. sigh.

anyway to all who failed syf auditions. ITS NOT OVER BECAUSE NEXT WEEK ITS GOING TO BE DIFFERENT. tell yourself that. just practise hard and have confidence in your own abilities! if you deserve it, you WILL get it.

sigh, i hate sunday afternoons.

thankyou.

2007-04-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

i realised i haven't blogged in a long time. lol.

anyway! MUSICFEST IS FINALLY OVER. lol and i didn't win but i'm still happy. think i really enjoyed myself and i really thank all of you for supporting me. hahah. thanks for the flowers, the hugs, the words of encouragement everything! oh and soo for the guitar which SHINED IN THE SPOTLIGHT WOO. it was indeed a night of fun, emotion and amazement. haha.

oh and i won a fifty dollar recording voucher which is totally useless. lol if you need it come look for me.

ah and today we got our pw results as well and my entire group got a B ): its quite depressing it really is but i guess i'm gonna get over it soon. so many people in VJ got A! then when you get a B you're like shit second tier. aye. nevermind work hard for A level! i hope. haha.

oh and i got my new phone. this is it!

sony ericsson w880i the sexy slim phone on tv. happy boy! this is gonna have to be my phone for the next 30 months. lol.

ok tired more next time ciao.

deepintothought.

2007-04-08T23:40:00.000+08:00

tagged by mrpoh. so i'm supposed to post like 6 weird/interesting facts about myself yes? here goes.

#1. I had been bald for 15 years of my life before i decided to leave hair to grow in august 2004.

#2. Ever since leaving my hair to grow i've had variations of hairstyles. from spiked, to centre parting, to side parting, to MOHAWK/CHICKENBACKSIDE, and to now whatever it is.

#3. I was cadet scout of the year when i was in p6. on top of that i was quartermaster and i was awarded the district commissioners award. no doubt, i was a pretigious (fat) scout in the past.

#4. I was very fat and round in the past and a tremendous amount of effort was put in to recreate myself into what i am today. haha. sounds inspirational? ask me for my old picture.

#5. I developed a phobia for veggies when i tried to showoff to my cousin that i could eat veggies when i was young, but ended up puking everything out. then the green puke just freaked me. now i'm starting to accept veggies again. yup, vegetarians as well. HAHA.

#6. I'm a singing machine. I sing everywhere. in the lift, corridor, living room, toilet. i think all my neighbours should have heard me by now. one kind neighbour responded with a loud "OI!" before. really appreciative neighbours i have.

YUP SO THATS 6. interesting facts about myself. hmm didn't take too long to think of them, suprisingly. haha. so the 6 lucky people who will have to do this quiz along with me will be

1. ricer
2. jeslynn
3. tim soo
4. krissay
5. jiaming
6. ethel

congratulations yay! lol. don't feel obliged to do it though. i know you are all very busy people haha.

aye i swear i'm gonna be more hardworking from tmr onwards. i think i've slacked enough so its time to work my socks off! shall try not to be distracted by my computer especially. hmm.

mass today was nice. glad i went for 6pm. although i felt quite sorang because only 3 people including me were occupying one entire row. good thing was that i could concentrate better for the first time in dunno how long, plus the choir is much better than the 9am one. haha. PLUS i got to see my dear ngiamster friend who said i was DAO when actually i gave her my sexysmile. HAHA.

aye chris daughtry's voice is so nice i want his voice. this song rocks. plus, its even nicer when you read the lyrics and really feel the song. guess the second verse speaks alot to me.

Chris Daughtry - Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, it makes true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.

whydidyouwakeme.

2007-04-08T10:00:00.000+08:00

now i know what is one of the worst feelings of this world.

WAKING UP.

after a supersupersupersupersuper nice dream. )):

it was like sinking my head back into my pillow with sorrow after coming out of this "wonderland", back staring into the cold hard ceiling of my enclosed room. AH. the CRUELTY of REALITY. lol.

this is seriously not a good morning. i got overcome by LAZINESS and decided to go for 6pm mass. now i'm regretting it. plus i think of all the work i have left, i just wanna puke.

why couldn't i pause the dream ):

resurrection.

2007-04-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

AIYA HOW. really leh.

so depressing can nelson said our performance today was bad beyond belief. this is the first time i've heard him (or seen him) say that in vjchoir. its scary cos he really sounded pissed PLUS he also said get ready for SYF auditions next sat cos he doesn't need more than 60 people on stage.

WORK HARD. my brothers and sisters. you have 1 entire week left.

and nowadays i don't really see the point in exercising because i just EATLIKETHERESNOTOMORROW. my exercise routines can hardly make up for the amount of NUTRITION that i'm consuming can. wah lau. maybe i should go on a diet. hahaha. haven't gone on one in a longlong time. maybe thats why. MAYBE I SHOULD.

aye shit man u is losing 1-0 at halftime so sad. and there's no one to talk to online BOOHOO. hahah.

its easter. christ has risen from the dead!

mouldme.

2007-04-04T22:33:00.000+08:00

sigh i'm tired! i think i'm gonna sleep soon. record earliest cos its only like 10.40. haha. AND I HAVEN'T GONE FOR CONFESSION!

2nd year in a row never go confession before easter. everyone should just give me a slap.

anyway random picture of the day.

WATCHA LOOKING AT.

ween says i can't take properphotos. maybe its true. lol.

blackandsexy.

2007-04-03T23:47:00.000+08:00

okay i ate 4 meals altogether today. 1 light and 3 heavy. but i seriously think that muddymudpie is the cause of the layeroffat that just appeared on my lowerabs. haha. PLEASE DISAPPEAR WHEN I WAKE UP TMR.

shit musicfest is scary i'm not confident that i can win. maybe because of my song choice! hopefully it'll be good enough. otherwise, God please show me a sign that i need to change my song. haha.

restringing an accoustic. NEW HEADACHE.

angsty.

2007-04-02T22:39:00.000+08:00

crankycrankyday. but not a very happy day for me as well. haha. exco nominees plus new musicco announced! congratulations to every one of you who got in! do your best for vj choir (:

now i sound like some vjchoir patriot. haha.

i'm feeling really tired from school, choir, running, emotions. and i feel like i need a longlongsleep to get me through. before i slept last night i looked at the clock at it was 12.32. then i said to myself, fuck less than 6 hours of sleep again. but then now i'm sitting here thinking that i can't afford to sleep because i've got my maclaurin's to complete otherwise mrhwk is gonna come and question me again. but on the other hand i'm totally not in the mood for anything now and i've got my musicfest thing to settle. ARGH irritating.

sorry for the angsty paragraph.

sigh sometimes i do some things which aren't really correct, then when i think back i'm like, why the hell did you do such or thing, or say such a thing. i guess i'm trying to be perfect, and i want to be accepted by everyone around me? aye the wrong steps that i take. i just hope i don't live to regret any of these actions, ever.

saw this quote on the channel 8 show just now.

the greatest tragedy in life is having someone right in front of you, but not getting to say i love you.

says something, treasure every single person in your life. out.

staightenthem.

2007-04-01T22:43:00.000+08:00

gosh i totally forgot today is april fool's day! not until stupid frederick sent a message to the basses saying tmr choir prac is cancelled because weather forecast says its gonna snow -.- haha. then after that i straightaway got into the aprilfoolsday mood and sent my aprilfools message to a few people. but nobody got tricked ): all i got back was a message from xiuquan saying:

haha nice one slut! _!_

oh well. typical vulgar shit. anyway to the rest, just too bad if you didn't receive it! haha.

okay yet again i spent my entire weekend doing nothing. i think i really need to change this stupid habit of mine. people are supposed to mug the hardest during the weekends. argh. i was going for dinner with my mum just now and she was like telling me all her financial plans and whatever for me then i'm like wow! you've got it all planned out. haha. i think i better start studying hard soon, for my parents as well as for myself. yay.

i sound like a filial boy all of a sudden don't I. haha.

hmm okay. i'm currently experiencing some lows now. shan't blog further! haha. ban emoshitxz! seeyou people (:

clip.

2007-03-31T00:09:00.000+08:00

sports day sucked to the maxx today. the atmosphere was like crap, the rain came pouring down, people walked around and it was like watching a lousy show. haha. ended up spending most of the time either in the choir room or in the canteen. PLUS when i did go back to watch the cheerleading, i got my ass red sitting on the track. gah.

and i think i've caught the sleeping bug. i keep wanting to fall asleep during lessons nowadays! maybe i should sleep earlier and not be too distracted by msn. lol.

alright i'm tired off i go!

falsehopesfalsehopes, don't wanna live on falsehopes.
answers, i need answers.

noonearound.

2007-03-29T23:04:00.000+08:00

somehow it feels like everything around me seems to be different now.

the things i used to see, the feelings i used to feel, the stuff i used to talk about, it seems like everything has just changed. i wonder to myself, am i changed as well? maybe i am because i seem to be talking less these days. besides, it feels like i've lost quite a bit of the crappiness that i used to have.

i do miss the old me. maybe i'm being suppressed i don't know. aye.

i should just try to be less pre-occupied with certain stuff. i want to feel natural and free, again.

sigh. its another of those lonely nights.

gimmebackmystatus.

2007-03-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

okay my com is getting laggier BY THE DAY. its quite irritating cos everytime i switch it on i have to wait for like 2 to 3 mins for my msn to load. then it'll lag there for awhile before everything becomes normal argh. i need a new com! 7 years and i'm still stuck with my stupid dell. haha.

in fact, i need LOTSA STUFF. an ipod, shoes, clothes, handphone. you name it.

anyway, i got into musicfest finals for solo! so i'll be performing on that lousywooden pt stage on friday april the 13th yup. haha. well not sure if i deserved to get in cos i think everything just happened by chance and i guess i just have to thank God (plus my lucky stars) that i got through! i'll make sure everything goes well in the finals. hahaha. no more screwedup guitar playing and undecipherable lyrics.

anyway, here's what happened the last time i performed on it.
featuring dawn and sindhu, dsa prostitutes. HAHA. OHMY.

okay don't worry i'm not gonna do something like that for musicfest. it'll be another case of GAYNESS. i think some people will understand why i use that word. lol.

i'm starting to wonder, maybe this problem with diction was inbuilt in me right from the start. cos i realise sometimes people can't even understand what i'm saying for the first time argh! gosh. or maybe its just you guys? hahah.

RIGHT. so over with the distraction. now comes the announcement of my common test 1 grades. okay here goes.

CDDDD

C for physics. lol. and the rest i got D including my GP which i just got back today. to say the least, i'm not really happy with my results haha. not a single A in sight. SIGH. better pull up my pants and buck up for common test 2.

talking about pulling up pants, or socks or whatever, i better start getting my fitness act together! haha. haven't exercised in a week gosh and i've been eating like some pig. lemme see hmm, bbq, bahkutteh, icecream, thaiexpress, gelare, wantonmee, dairyqueen. sounds good eh? the after effects aren't good. AT ALL. lol. well at least i'm not as pig as someone. HAHA. if you know who you are.

anyway here's a rhyme for you.

it takes a month to build some PECS and lose some FLABS,
but only a week to GET IT BACK ):

i just thought of it. impressive eh? lol. live by it!

or you can LIVEBYEAT.

whichever, you choose. lol. OKAY THIS IS GETTING DUMB I'M SORRY. off i go. thanks for reading (:

heavyheavy.

2007-03-25T00:54:00.000+08:00

whywhywhy do i have to go through the trauma of auditioning again! argh. actually, picking the song and finding the minus 1 track is more traumatic than anything else. grr.

and i don't feel like i can make it through. i'm scared ):

AH WELL. shall not act like a humchee anymore lols. must have more confidence in my abilities. hahah. I WILL PICK THE CORRECT GENRE THIS TIME.

okay i've got 2 big pimples on my forehead now its damn irritating! its big and red and painful and ugly and everything. man oh man i hate pimples. haha. must be cos of the lack of sleep these few days. since i've been sleeping at like almost 1 daily the entire week. rah. and its already 1 while i'm typing this entry -.- haha. PLUS. tonight i'm not gonna sleep till like 3.30am cos its like soccerooing time YET AGAIN.

maybe i should be as conservative as zha. NOFRIEDFOODNOLACKOFSLEEPNOTANYTINGTHATGIVESYOUPIMPLES. caught that? haha good if you did.

oh talking about fried food. if you guys didn't know, from next week onwards VJC canteen STOPS selling fried and oily food. means stalls like western and noodles/carrot cake are just gonna go into recession. haha. healthfreaks are going HOORAH, while people like me and you will just have to start spamming coleslaw and baked beans. haha.

actually don't eat baked beans, they make you fart. (random)

AHHHH. okay this is a freaking weird entry i just realised i'm just typing whatever that comes into my mind. lol.

man i'm getting hungry. somebody stop me ):

coldness.

2007-03-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

treasure life.

that is one lesson we should all keep in mind. keep your loved ones close to your heart every single day, otherwise live to regret it. aye.

the fragility of it all.

today we got too carried away with our cat high talk at the table and i think everyone was getting damn amused. haha. it was like reliving old memories. actually come to think about it, maybe cat high was really a screwed up school. but nonetheless, it was never ending fun and i enjoyed my 4 years there! i think. haha.

ooo baby. wonder what happened to the zidane who used pluck his hair from the middle to eat. HAHA.

anyway yay i'm damn tired. done practising for musicfest i guess, but not sure if i'm up to the standard. sang to my mum just now and she said it was not bad! but then not sure if i can trust my mum's opinion as well. lol. 10 people, fighting for,

THREE PLACES.

thanks. lets just see how it goes la. hope i don't screw up my timing tmr. haha. sexed up song i'm singing. lols.

yay okay i feel so much better after blogging now. think i shall go to sleep. night to blog and my silent readers (:

youaresopretty.

2007-03-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

dinner with my mum and dad was totally great, sinful as well. haha. after i came home we headed to toapayoh and there we had what? lemme see. chickenwings, satay, sotong, crayfish, mixedveggiesoup, stingray, rice. man i really enjoyed it. but i'm not sure if i'm gonna enjoy the AFTER-EFFECTS of it. haha.

anyway man. gluttons bay stingray really sux i just realised. my parents say the only thing good there is the oysteregg!

musicfest auditions this sat! been talking alot about it with people like melodie and sherwin. haha. oh well i'm not really confident cos i haven't really practised enough or settled down with my song as yet. but i hope i do well. i hope i make it through! thats why i better start working on it. like tmr. lol.

we gotta be, extra careful
that we don't build our hopes up too high
trying to keep my hopes down.

releaseme.

2007-03-20T22:43:00.000+08:00

way back into love seems to be the hottest song nowadays. even people who haven't watched music&lyrics are spamming the song on their mp3 players, their phones. and everyone who hears it kinds of sings along. for me, i help by adding the hip movement. sometimes. haha.

anyway i've been feeling really tired these first two days of school. every morning upon reaching school the first thing to do is to head to the choir room and poof on the sofa. and then i try to get to sleep but somehow i'm always awoken up halfway by the morning hustle and bustle within that coolest room in the whole school. esp when you have people making lotsa noise over jenga, which seems to be the newest game choir peeps are crazy over. used to be puzzle fighter but don't see anyone playing that now. haha.

worst thing is that these 2 days aircons have been breaking down wherever i've been going. yesterday it was LT4, which is the worst place to be in when there's no aircon, cos its so stuffy and smelly. its like, being inside a musty garbage dumb. argh. i had 2 lectures there can. haha. and today my beloved C22 classroom's aircon broke down too, and since container blocks don't have fans we had to open up all the windows and doors. and then it got so warm everyone just started falling asleep. and i fell asleep right in front of my gp teacher while seating in the first row.

well don't worry. nothing happened to me. i had my eyes covered. haha.

ok i think you've had enough of my ranting. lol.

was running at a park/field near my house just now and then while running i suddenly got this urge to blog about the sights around that area. haha. well i've been going there alot recently for my workouts and here are the familiar sights:

1. same few indians and chinese playing soccer on the field. they seem to be playing there everyday, like dunneed to study. so good.
2. this ahma, who comes on a wheelchair at 7 with the maid to do some light walking using the support bar.
3. these 2 middle age indians, who always like to compete with me silently when i run. haha. dunno what for seriously.
4. a uncle who wears tight shirt and pants and has weird dyed hair and looks like a lecher. likes to go around talking to maids. yucked out.
5. another uncle who likes to play soccer with his dog on the field. my favourite sight.
6. a staircase at the 100m mark where alot of maids and aunties sit and chill. its like their favourite chilling staircase. haha.
7. topless oldmen stretch of benches from the 300 to 370m mark. they like to just sit there and smoke with their shirts off. i hold my breath everytime i run past that area. haha.

okay 7 is heaven. still got alot more la but aiyah sian already don't feel like saying. okay i know this is damn random but its good to be random in blog entries sometimes! value-added entertainment for my readers. hope you enjoy my randomness. haha.

aye okay. i think i'm done here. this entry took amazingly long, distracted by convos. haha.

someone please turn off the emo switch.
not enjoying this rollercoaster of emotions. but i can't seem to get you out of my mind.

IDONTOWEMONEY

2007-03-15T18:43:00.000+08:00

SO PEOPLE. who is the sexiest and hip-pest KEEPER of the UNDERWORLD?

MEMEMEMEME :D

haha okay self praise. just came back from choir camp yesterday night and i thought it was quite a blast. but seriously not enough time for anything to happen. small group this year was like i dunno, DAMN SLACK, as compared to last year. but i think all of us did improve a little here and there, but seriously not enough. haha. details baby! need to watch the details.

anyway the games were quite fun la i think ALTHOUGH i didn't play both the day games and night games, reason being i was station master for both. for day games i was some sadistic tormenter of the body, making every group run backwards, duck walk, hop on one leg, run sideways. you guys should thank me can, i think i got help you all lose at least like what? 0.5 kg. hahaha. okay maybe not so much. and then FOR NIGHT GAMES i was KEEPER OF THE UNDERWORLD. i was dressed in my coolblue sweator with shorts and my face was powdered to the limit. plus, i had my mouth taped. lol. and in the end i managed to scare some people! although i dunno how they can get scared. idiots like yuting just couldn't stop laughing and spoiling the SCARY ATMOSPHERE i was trying to create. grrrr. but yea overall it was fun. yay!

haha and then food trail rocked too. at the charkwayteow station my group finished the entire plate in 10 secs can. thats like totallay record breaking. ran alot, ate alot, and was quite happy in the end (: liked my group alot during this camp, fun people. and of course for being so enthu about the TOTALLAY. SLUTTY. cheer. we should do it again one day. hahaha. cos..

we are..BURBERRY, tishtishtish! (:

yea so thats all i think i'm gonna say for camp. its like got too many things to say. haha. go read other blogs if you wish to find out more about the fantastic vj choir. lol.

okay so today i went back to CATHIGH to teach my TUBA SECTION. gosh they are totally in deep shit, totally the suckiest section in the band now. (hope my juniors don't chance on my blog):) haha. but yea omg i made them play one and a half hours of long tones and articulation exercises. and i think its more tiring teaching them than playing itself can. sux biggie. i do hope they remember the things i kept stressing.

aye. the golden generation has passed. lol. if you understand what i mean.

okay gonna go dawn's house later. dunno if i'm looking forward to it though. sigh. off i go for a run! seeyou guys.

alliwanttodo.

2007-03-11T22:27:00.000+08:00

went to watch music and lyrics with churchies today. its such a nice and funny movie, another one of those really feel good ones. haha. can't remember the name of the last feel good movie i watched, but it was with wanting and shuwei.

hugh grant is really the ultimate retard! haha. he's really funny and all in the movie, and retarded, and sweet (i shouldn't be saying this), and he's got alot of witty jokes as well. he's totally my idol can. hahah. and von says he reminds her of me, man if only i'm as good as him. anyway guess what, hugh grant is a graduate from oxford. WOW. haha. and i think his voice is damn nice as well. ahhh hugh grant. LOL.

and haley bennett is totally the sex goddess. ultimate pussycat. haha. okay you guys should seriously go catch it!

anyway today was youth mass day! omg i was having such a torrid time in the choir cos andre was like singing beside me and he was totally out of tune for every song. but it'll be too evil to ask him not to sing. aye. so in the end just ended up trying to keep my pitch right but then couldn't hear myself totally too cos he was singing into my ear! haha. i was like getting quite pissed off but then i prayed and asked god to help me to overcome this test. hahah. oh well. i overcame it (:

and i twisted my ankle. now its swollen and i can't walk properly ):

======

Hugh Grant & Haley Bennett - Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need em again someday

I've been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction

And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again

I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

beautiful song (:

putyourrecordson.

2007-03-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

hey babies! i'm back from my hiatus. though i didn't say i was going for one in the first place. haha. and its my 170th post! another blogging milestone yay.

WTF IS AMERICA DOING? why the hell did america vote sanjaya malakar into the top 12?! even singaporeans like me are pissed. haha. sundance got out omg and he's one of my favourite singers. gosh sanjaya is like the joakim of american idol, i hope he gets kicked out in the first round.

but omg this season rocks cos there's lakisha and melinda! yesterday when they sang my hair just stood. gosh they rock. if only singapore had this kinda talent. if only singapore idol could be HALF as good. haha. and i just saw paultwohill showcasing the new mrbean movie in an advert and it was shot in england! omg so lucky. will someone please sponsor me a trip there, to old trafford at least? haha. DREAM ON.

okay. hope you just enjoyed my two paragraphs of ranting. lol. anyway COMMONTESTS ARE OVER! (: i wouldn't want to comment much on the papers i just hope i PASS all of them. and if i do score well in some then i will thank god and my lucky stars. haha. i can't stand jc papers cos they last for 3 hours which is friggin long. all those who had papers in lt5 had their necks cracked at the end of each. haha. i had mine cracked too! anyway i didn't really feel any real sense of jubilation after physics today. its only commontest ONE people. longlong way to go. longlong way. friggin hell.

i dunno why but somehow i think nowadays i'm becoming more and more unrefined. its really so unlike me you know that. i keep using words like friggin and twittish phrases like suxx biggie. okay whatever! lol.

one week to play, sing and prepare for musicfest. what comes after that? RESULTS. not freaking out. just wish time could stop. just wish i had more sleep!

cos my eyes really hurt now. haha. bye people. till next time.

godblessyou.

2007-02-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

thought and talked about quite a fair bit of it today.

i think its just quite upsetting, wouldn't use the word pissing off, when i think about how unfair it actually is, how selfish the person actually being.

i've been in this for much too long.

but i'm reluctant to head for greener pastures. sigh.

sorry i'm abit harsh with my words today. haha. just had to say it.

anyway you know about the girl who collapsed today at the track? my friend's her distant cousin. she passed away. do pray for her soul.

how unpredictable life can be ):

irony.

2007-02-26T20:34:00.000+08:00

i think i've learnt something.

why would you want to hate someone, when you realise that loving that person is so much better. and you feel so much better, because hating takes alot of energy. certainly i'm not the kind that can sustain hate.

and then again, why would you want to love someone, when you realise that love is not something that might be reciprocated. and then you just fall deeper and you keep getting hurt. whats the point?

lovehate. so closely interlinked.

all i can tell myself now is.

care about CTs!

the rest, i'll just let it go.

hurrah. 10 more days to go.

somuchtosay.

2007-02-21T22:41:00.000+08:00

TIME. WHY ARE YOU FLYING SO FAST!

i haven't had my fun! i haven't slacked enough! argh. back to lessons tmr already, how nice. spa in one week and cts in 2 weeks, how nice. double argh! time to get your act together people. haha.

had a pretty good chinese new year this year! i gambled the most this year, and in addition won the most i've ever won. plus, i broke my angpao money record this year again, which is good. haha. BUT I CAN NEVER BEAT SHIXUAN WAHAHAHA.

woops i didn't say anything. haha.

i have LOADS OF cny goodies at home omg. got already 2 boxes of bahkua and then my uncle gave us another box of kim hock guan bahkua. can die! REALBAHKUA ROCKS. hahaha. i dunno how we're gonna finish everything man, i even had to eat bahkua with bread just now for dinner. lol. and then after that i binged on quite alot of cashew nuts again, but still left sooo much. you guys had better come to my house soon to help eat. haha.

well thank goodness there was x-country today. felt so much less guilty after running, but then also no use, considering the amount i ate just now, plus my pastamania lunch. oh well. anyway i came in 88th! sucha lucky number right. was supposed to come in 86th, but then this guy's ass was blocking me at the finish line after i stopped. so 2 people from behind just chionged past and took the tags. hahah. oh well doesn't matter.

WATCHED DREAM GIRLS!! omg its such a good movie, because of the singing of course. the storyline kinda sucked though, but there were quite a few bitchy parts and all. haha. jennifer hudson is so zaiii omg. go catch it! worth the money. haha. even when the actors are scolding each other they sing. kinda funny haha.

ok i'm feeling tired. dunno whether i should catch the liverpool barca game later. hmm.

YAY i blogged. haha. haven't blogged since sunday if you haven't realised.

alright shall stop here for now. school tmr )):

pigpig.

2007-02-18T02:05:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! to all you chinese out there. haha.

well i've started the year of the pig by pigging out with lots of cashew nuts, and now i'm starting to feel the effects of it. headache rah. wanted to exercise just now, but was too tired due to last night's session. lol. so i just fell asleep on my bed ):

i told my mum i'm gonna try to exercise every single day of the chinese new year period. they say it on the tv that we should too! haha.

anyway dinner was hmm as normal. same dishes as every year, grandma's specialties. however this year i got super pissed by my grandfather, and i shan't say why. cos actually now i'm not really angry about it already, so thank god. lol.

OH. and i've got my first 2 angpaos already. YAYAY.

okay i'm off now. have fun during your holiday gaypartner!

and to everyone.

GONGXIFACAIWANSHIRUYIMONEYMONEY! enjoy your new year (:

idontwannabe.

2007-02-17T14:22:00.000+08:00

first, put your hands together and go, "the beacon of light and truth". then you go, TWISHTWISHTWISH. hahaha. omg so dumb. kenny's lovely expression.

choir bbq was quite fun in all. the food was good, games too. needless to say the excessive dunking and the soccer! hahah. seriously ecp is a cursed place for me, cos i split my pants again! my nice board shorts. haha. bet you all didn't know that, cos i concealed so well. hehehe.

okay its not really something to be proud oh well.

then stayed over at sx's house with kenny and zha. had quite alot of fun talking and laughing, as usual. WE NEED MORE NIGHTS LIKE THIS.

okay shan't blog too much. i'm in the midst of cleaning my room but i got too lazy so i'm slacking my ass off now. hahah. REUNION DINNERRRRR ARGHH FATTT.

and vegeterian bahkua sucks. hahah. SORRY SX (:

later ppl!

storyoftheday.

2007-02-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

some people just can't stop using the word thunderous to describe me. haha. shan't tell you guys why. GO FIGURE!

today was totally SIANED out. as in referring to lessons. everything was either econs or physics, totally stoned to death. slept during econs, stoned during tutorials and physics lecture as well. its like as good as ponning school can. haha. and then after school there was musicfest auditions! me and sindhu did quite well, but may not get in, due to some complications. shan't talk about it. tough competition man! melodie and ween, pro people. hahah. shall let god decide.

went to pp to buy gifts for angel and mortal! omg i so nice can. spend so much money on the gifts. i really damn pokkai already after this week, i think i spent at least a hundred bucks!! freakin hell. haha. and my wallet is empty now. like totally. thats partly why i'm forced to go lunch with my parents tmr! haha.

yay so exciting i ponning school tmr. first time in my entire life. i'm such a guaikia don't you agree.

okay dunno what to blog already. i'm TIRED rawr.

cya peeps.

ihavenoreason.

2007-02-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

i was listening to songs from my mp3 on the way back just now, after walking sindhu home. and its like, being lost in this world of your own. then you get this kind of hmm bittersweet feeling, although the lyrics makes you a lil sad and emo, you don't feel like coming back to the real world which you belong to. hard to understand? haha. nevermind then.

had dinner at thaipan with sindhu, kenny, jialing, rayrin, huping, may just now. before we entered into the restaurant i managed to look up into the sky, and there was only 1 single star shining above, in the huge sky. its like a lonely being, lost in a world of sadness. but then after dinner when all of us looked up, the sky was filled with an uncountable amount of stars! haha. and jialing was like wow and they just stoned at the sky for awhile. suddenly the lonely being realises that there are indeed many friends in this world which he can count on.

well. just a funny analogy of mine. i think god blessed valentines with a star-filled sky today! great.

thank you thank you thank you for all the cookies, the chocolates, sweets, messages, items, the pig etcetcetc. really makes a difference, to know that you're loved by so many friends. haha. now an entire section of my fridge is stocked with all the goodies, and i've got cookies all over my table. lol. i'm never gonna be able to finish all of them.

anyway, 2 messages got me thinking. both told me not to change the way i am now. haha. then i started to ponder, am i still gonna be this crappy and retarded and sick and whatever in a few years time? i'm sure the deeper side of me will always be there. lol. wonder if i'll keep the funny side. HOPEFULLY i will. i don't want myself to change. nope.

aye musicfest duet tmr. hope i don't let sindhu down! ): you're a great singer bhaarrati. haha.

I Will Fly - Ten2five

You know all the things I’ve said
You know all the things that we have done
And things I gave to you
there’s no chance for me to say
How precious you are in my life
And you know that is true

To be with you is all that I need
‘cause with you my life seems brighter
and these are all the things I wanna say, hey

I will fly into your arms
And be with you to the end of time
Why are you so far away
You know it’s very hard for me to get my self close to you

You’re the reason why I stay
You’re the one who can not believe
Our love will never end
Is it only in my dream ?
You’re the one who can not see this

How could you be so blind
To be with you is all that I need
‘cause with you my life seems brighter
And these are all the things I wanna say, hey

I will fly into your arms
And be with you to the end of time
Why are you so far away
You know it’s very hard for me to get my self close to you.
why are you making me cling on?

soundssosweet.

2007-02-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

ok seriously i should stop being distracted from my work when CTs are coming so soon! rawr. but today i totally lost focus in everything cos there was only one thing on my mind, MUSICFEST AUDITIONS.

glad i did well (i hope i did) and hopefully i'll get into the semis! haha guess i was emo-ing on stage, like all you people could see. emoboy in the making? sx says i already am one. lol. ah well, at least i can breathe a huge sigh of relief now! wasn't really nervous on stage, though i ALMOST forgot my lines at one point in time, due to some unforeseen reason. gosh.

after that went giant shopping with sx and nova! bought chocolates for S64 for valentines! THEY ARE EXPENSIVE OKAY. hahahah. erhem. yea then headed for dinner and then walked around a little bit more. sx and i were chatting alot, sorry nova! haha.

and then later on i headed to conference hall with zeyi and darryl, to watch cathigh band in action! they were having their syf practice so i decided to go watch (although stupid yizha pangsehed). haha dunno what to say bout the band though, except erm, quite terrible ): but nevermind its okay! still got 2 months before syf. can chiong. GO BAND!

aye the golden generation. passed. lol. but i remember cathigh band tradition is always, sound like shit at first, but last min chiong till gold with honours. BAD HABIT.

followed them back to cat high to listen to mrheng's long speech and all, plus enhao's pep talk. some things never change really, kelvin mark and jiawei should know what i'm talking about. stuff like.

"you don't come for your tutorial. you go and pay the tutor yourself ah!"

man i pity eric. go scolded until damn cham, sorta reminded me bout myself last time too, although i didn't tio as bad. haha. oh well, these things just make you stronger.

rawr its 12.23. just came home 45 mins ago. tiredtired. anyway,

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! people.

a time to celebrate friendship and love (: enjoyyourselves. ciao!

leadmeout.

2007-02-10T18:43:00.000+08:00

today i forgot to bring my wallet and keys, and i realised how handicapped one can be without having these things. thanks to all the people who lent me money and no thanks to the bus uncle who forced me to pay 90 cents for a bus ride of 2 stops. rawr.

bus ride home with danny yuting and zha just now. wasn't feeling emo or anything, just didn't feel like talking, although they were like having this intellectual talk about blahblah and all.

can't deny that sometimes i feel really sad about it. but then its been so long, sometimes i just feel totally numb about it too.

i'm feeling tired again. like yuting said, its unfair to everyone. but someone has to be spat out of the deep sea. i'd rather the sea spit me out right now, otherwise maybe i'll just keep falling in, deeper and deeper..spit me out, so maybe i'll see the sky and breathe in the air above.

man, i don't know what to do. its been totally, a never ending swim.

wonder whats gonna strike me. come wednesday.

argh session. stress.

captivated.

2007-02-10T00:33:00.000+08:00

my 160th post! a new blogging milestone for me. haha.

okay today was seriously damn draining, like all fridays. yesterday couldn't plan session cos i had hw from EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT. even GP la! had to do a freakin hard compre. now i'm stressed over session.

anyway today was still fun cos it was george's birthday! george is a lucky dude man! haha. while he was announcing stuff during assembly the councillors shouted his name, and then someone gave him a barbie balloon that he had to tie around his wrist for the entire day. (which he did) plus he got whacked in the balls by this guy and he collapsed onto the ground. and when some chinese teachers came to show their concern i merely told them, "mei you shi mei you shi, ta the qiu bei da." and what a wrong statement that was i realised after that, cos everyone just burst out into laughter. haha.

of course the main highlight of the day was after the last lesson. first we gave him a major taupok, which shook the entire container block till lim i reen from below came up to take a look. lol. then we blindfolded him and made him walk in circles around the area before settling him down on the grass and pouring him with buckets of water, plus hosing him as well. lol. oh and xiuquan got taupoked twice as well. taupoking is damn fun. hahaha.

okay i dunno what else to say, except HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEORGE!! god bless you always.

tired tired. and i dunno what i'm gonna sing for musicfest again, thanks to the constructive comments of sindhu and zha.

"I'll Be" Goo Goo Dolls

The strands in your eyes
That color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains
Thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth

Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows
Of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

emotional song. love it.

awakefromyourslumber.

2007-02-07T23:25:00.000+08:00

ok i'm feeling rather tired now, but just felt like blogging. lol.

this morning was so scary can. was supposed to be at aunty ginger's car by 6.30 and i woke up at 6.25. but me being the calm me didn't panic and quickly went to brush my teeth and change, dumped stuff into my bag and rushed off. and when i reached there it was just on time! phew. haha. my alarm did ring, but i couldn't even hear it. wth. shows how pig i've become.

school school school, nothing significant to mention about. except the stupid PE lesson and the econs lecture, which was supposed to end early, but ended up having to listen to some group present their econs project, which i obviously didn't do. haha. and obviously all of us didn't listen, so we started CAMWHORING omg. here some pictures.

me and xiuquan, insulting each other, as usual. lol.

ting me and xq. my hair's messy. hehe.

this was supposed to be a nice pic. before SOMEONE decided to stick in his finger.

we should camwhore more often next time. so fun. hehe.

time to sleep soon! otherwise tmr morning is gonna be horrific again.

wishing i could be in a dream,

which isn't really fulfilling.

wakeup, wakeup.